Season Twelve is off (its rocker) with a bang

Random notes from Premiere Part One:

Of course, they play up the catfights between Mariah and Nikki. It's having the opposite effect on me -- this shit is getting old fast.

Keith seems like this year's nice guy, the rock in the insanity.

The Dawg, as usual, is almost a non-entity.

Dr. L said, only Nikki M. can wear that shade of lipstick, what a shame.

Seems like last year, maybe last two years they didn't show as many freaky failures? Well, they're back now. 

Christina from GA seems like a contender for the "pipes" that get knocked out way too early. It's got to kill Nikki that everyone worships Mimi.

Annnnd -- the sob stories begin. Cancer Boy gets the extensive backstory. Meanwhile, outside Ryan says he's been tired for ten years -- must be exhausting buying yachts. Wow -- they said no -- cold-hearted bastards.

WTF -- Dawg is on the Staten Island Ferry to punk some girl? What kind of lame stunt is this? Then they ambush her to play guitar, and she's off-key. It's a special kind of torture -- this is like some of those high-school nightmares where you find yourself on stage naked. Idol is off to a twisted start.

And now -- the WTF love-fest for the Israeli girl. Idol does this every year -- they gush over somebody that sounded meh on TV. These are the ones that make me wonder, did they sound better during the REAL judging, with the producers, before the "audition" on-camera? 'Cause it didn't really happen here.

Frankie from Brooklyn -- 2nd sob story. He's so likable -- I really want him to sing well. He has a shaky start -- and pulls it out big time. If he holds it together through the cauldron of Hollywood Week, he could go far. 

Day 2 -- seems to be full of Nos. But isn't that the way? They set it up so that the end of the day has some SPECTACULAR singer. Let's see if my theory holds up…

Sarah the Jersey country girl -- is she an OMG 17 contender? Idol has to have them. She's cute and she can sing.

BTW I love how Mariah rocked the mega-boob look Day One, and then Nikki came in Day Two to compete -- and Mariah covered the puppies up. Funny.

Holy shit, now we have a montage of crappy singers and Nikki's British accent. 

Wow, Deaf Girl can really sing. Mariah actually said "cool beans" -- her stock just rose in my book.

Sleepy Idol Trivia Guy -- Dr. L said, one year they should just let a whole batch of these crappy guys go to Hollywood and battle it out. How cruel is it to show him fantasizing that he made it? Idol is really bizarre this year.

Turbinator -- nice guy with a Lite Jazz voice. No way in hell he goes past Hollywood, but should be fuel for some more mildly racist Muslim humor.

Ashley -- great backstory. What a sweet family. I hope she can sing! Of course she can -- is she the last of Day Two? Hell yeah! 

HA! Made it through the first ep. More insanity to come. We saw a couple of the Final 24, maybe? Let us know what you think.

Dr. L & K