Rubbertoe ranks the girls

Ok....so the guys performed last night. I have to say overall they all did pretty well. It very well might be a guys year. But lets take a look at the women. So lets start off by getting rid of a few: First off....Maddie, who stole the spot from the much more deserving female in probably one of the cruelest idol moments in AI history (IMHO). She wasn't that good in the sing-off and should not be in the top 12 girls. Will definitely not be in the top 12. Next...that Bartheimole or whatever her last name is girl. (Shannon Berthiaume...or however you spell it). She was inconsistent throughout the entire Hollywood week. How they put her through is a mystery. She won't go any further. Shi....whatever her last name is. Another completely inconsistent performer who shouldn't be in the top 12 girls. Her ride is over.....over. The next.....some of them I don't even know who they are....Alexis Gomez? Katherine Winston? Lovey James? Sarina Lowe? Adanna Duru? I honestly don't remember a thing about any of them. I'm sure once I see them tonight...my memory will be jogged...but for now they don't stand out at all to me. So onto the good ones that stood out for me. Tyanna Jones - At first...I wasn't a fan, but the House of Blues performance made me a fan. She has potential to go far...maybe even to the top 5. Jax - To me...she was one of the two or three top girls. She has that raspy kinda voice thing going on, combined with an interesting persona. She is another shoo in for the top 12. Loren Lott - probably my favorite of the girls. Strong voice....beautiful girl.....great performer and the power in her voice will propel her to the top 12 and probably a top 5 finish. Joey Cook - I don't really love her. She's quirky but a one note wonder to me. She was interesting at first...but I see her getting old fast. Unique enough for the top 12...but a quick exit after that. So I can't really give a top 12 ranking...top 4: 4. Joey 3. Jax 2. Tyanna 1. Loren. Those four get into the top 12 for sure....and 2 others from my unknown 5. The show is over for Shannon, Maddie and Shi. Can't wait to watch the show tonight! Rubbertoe.....out!

Rubbertoe ranks the guys

Ok....so now we are finally down to the show. I love Hollywood Week...but this is where it really starts to get fun. The Top 12 guys perform tonight and I am going to give my predictions and attempt to rank the guys. First off....lets get rid of a few: Adam aka "Hurley" - He's got a good voice, but I think there are some that are better and he just doesn't have the "idol look" Nick Fradiani - He's the old guy of the bunch (at what? 28?). Nothing about him stands out and really distinguishes him. He is talented but doesn't have enough to propel him into the top 12 Mark Andrew - He's too inconsistent and he plays like too many of the recent idol guys. In another year, he might make the top 12...but I don't see it for him. Trevor Douglas - the science geek. He's fun and cute in a geeky sort of way, but just doesn't have the talent for the top 12. THE ABSOLUTES These are the guys who are DEFINITELY IN THE TOP 12 Clark Beckham - The guy is one of the most overall talented people to appear on Idol. He is my choice to win it all at this point. He's got a great voice, he's got good stage presence. In addition he's a great musician. Years past have had great piano/performers, but he takes it to another level. This isn't a "Dueling Pianos" club performer....this is the real deal Quentin Alexander - He's different/unique. He definitely has stage presence and I think his charisma will lead him to the top 12. Great voice in addition Michael Simeon - He's the boy next door. Personally, I would not put him in the top 12. I think there are much better performers out there...but he's gotten a lot of screen time. He's a cute guy which is going to garner some votes. I see him getting into the top 12 and then making a quick exit around 8 or 9. Qaasim Middleton - I think he gets into the top 12 on the strength of his back story. He does have a good voice, although not as good as many. But he has those great dreads and he got a certain amount of charm that if it shines through sends him into the top 12. Daniel Seavy - This is my "controversial one". No way does he deserve to be in the top 12. He's a cute kid but when compared to the others, he's no where near the same level. But the young voters and the moms are going to put this kid through. He'll be the chicken-little of 2015 and steal the spot of a more deserving contestant THE FENCE SITTERS That means that there is only 1 more slot for one of the following: Savion, Rayvonn Owen, or Riley. Personally I would love to see Savion get it. He's gorgeous and he's come so close in other years...but AI seems to really LOVE Rayvonn. I don't really love his voice and/or his style of singing...but his sound is very contemporary and he is different that the rest of the group. So I think he goes through. Riley...another great performer who could sneak in because his Country-ness is different than the rest...I just don't see him making it this year with the other strong performers and factors here. I really wish they would do top 5 and then let each judge pick a wild-card...however, I don't think that is in the cards this year. Rubbertoes top 12 guy rankings (combination of my personal choice and what America will do) 12. Trevor Douglas 11. Adam aka Hurley 10 Mark Andrew 9. Nick Fradiani 8. Riley 7. Savion TOP 6 6. Daniel Seavy 5. Michael Simeon 4. Rayvonn Owen 3. Qaasim Middleton 2. Quentin Alexander 1. Clark Beckham Waiting to hear what your predictions are!!!!

House of the top 24

OK....now I can start the blogging....we are at the house of blues with the top 48...cutting it to the top 24. All in all I think it looks like it is going to be a good year. Michael Simmian - I would say he is a shoo-in for the top 24. The need to give him the idol make-over and trim those eyebrows. He will be in the top 12 for sure. Lauren Lott - I think she is another shoo-in for the top 24 and the top 12 as well. She is a beautiful girl with a great look and a powerful voice. Mext up Adam aka "Hurley" - I think he will make the top 24 but probably not the top 12. Cody gets cut....surprising. He wasn't one of my favorites, but I thought that we was probably going to be in the top 12.....so very surprised he didn't make top 24. Blond girl...didn't catch her name - Levin or something like that. She was good but nothing about her has stood out for me yet. Mr. Crispy and Hawaiian guy get cut.....not surprising there. Adana Duru - She's another one who has not stood out for me. She's ok...not great. She'll make the top 24 but not the top 12. Maddie Walker - She's got a good voice...I just don't think its good enough to go far....probably top 24 but again...not top 12....oops....wrong, not even top 24. Rachel Hallack- she's definitely a little stronger than the last one. Top 24...maybe top 12. OK....first staged drama of the season. I hate it when AI does this crap..."We didn't plan sing offs"....give me a break. What do you guess they put them both through? We'll see after the break. (oh man....I hope they don't play the fatal X-Factor card aka "We almost let this one get away and she ends up winning the show.)Surprisingly they put Maddie through and not Rachel. It was kind of mean what they did to Rachel...they could have done that better. Clark Beckham - My favorite so far. Shoo in for top 24 and top 12. I'm going to say shoo in for top 5 at this point. Daniel Seavey - My kids love him....so I want him to go through for them...but I would not put him through to the top 24. I think he might be good in a few years...but he's not ready yet. But they put him through. I don't see him in the top 12. Tianna Jones - I don't love her. I personally would not put her through. Too much drama with this one. Although...after seeing her house of blues performance, I am having second thoughts. Ok....I think I was completely wrong about her. I'm really digging this performance. Changing my mind....top 24 and top 12. Her voice kind of reminds me of Jennifer Hudson. Rayvon Owen - and Shannon Berthiuame - She kinds bugs me the way she sings, but I like the raspy voice. Rayvon's style is not my favorite but I think he's good enough for the top 24. Jax- she is a shoo in for the top 24 - Right now...I love her voice, but I think it might get old with me. Hollywood Anderson - I loved him at first...but not so much in Hollywood week.....we'll find out.....after the break......tomorrow!

Tough Slog Thru These! Back in it.

Idol Audition Night 3 — Kansas City. (yes, last week!)

Takin’ it to the streets in the Idol Bus. Can I say, still not digging the Club Mix Idol Theme LOL. Sorry Dr. L and I are a week behind, we have gotten sucked into the show Supernatural — all 10 seasons of it. We can handle the hour shows but ugh, the 2 hours are rough. I agree with Rubbertoe, these are not the fave parts of the show. But here goes:

Eleven towns across the country. Dr. L said she likes the bus idea. We’ll see how she feels after listening to Big Sexy. I’m getting a bad feeling about this. Oh yeah, he sucks. Harry and Keith straight up diss him to his face, damn that was funny. How in the hell did he go through? Madness.

The Shrieky Guy was no worse than Big Sexy yet he got the boot. Ashley Lusk was cut but kind of sharp? Still 1M times better than the first two. Josh Sanders was great. Hey, it’s that Casey kid from Alabama! Back for another shot. They all go through. 

Uh oh, turquoise haired porkpie hat chick. I like her voice but the whole shtick is kind of distracting. I hope she can lose the affectation.

We get a Country montage. Alexis? She’s a blonde Valley-ish Mexican girl. OK. Not great, but she’s got the look so they give her the golden ticket. Anton? He’s seems legit from the sticks. I like this kid! Voice was good though the nerves, and he was a nice guy, and we need them. 

Stephanie the Squeaker. She has an old 70s singer-songwriter vibe. Wacky but she squeaked by on a 2/3 vote. Hollywood will be interesting for her.  

Ashley is 15, and her parents are deaf.Oh, if only she could sing. She’s just too young. We get a montage of off-key folks and then hope arrives from Branson. Ellen, with a banjo. She’s got a pretty voice. And she can yodel!! The Beverly Hillbillies Trio was awesome. 

Colton (Kohlton?)  is a ramblin’ man, living under a tarp in the great outdoors. He sounds like some chainsmoking black dude from the 1940s, not a surfer-ish blonde white dude. They send him through. 

He should have stuck around for the ribs Ryan brought out!

So did we see some Top Tens? I say maybe one or two. What did you guys think? 

We’ll try to not get too far behind LOL. Happy MLK Day, and K out!

This was like the quirky twin of last night's show...

Idol Auditions Night Two! 

It’s all about dreams coming true, says Idol. Of course, technically it’s about 99% of the contestants’ dreams NOT coming true, but I see their point.

This new opening credit sequence seemed even weirder the 2nd time around! What do you guys think.

So we are back in Nashville. This time, they lead off with a guys who chokes. Are they setting us up for greatness next? We have an Alabama boy who acts like a fool, so I hope he can sing. Andrew singing Stevie Wonder. He was mega annoying but squeaked by. I didn’t feel it.

Next is Loren from SD California. Singing Bruno Mars. Face much cuter than her voice. Again a debate over someone that should get the boot. She went through? if she didn’t look that way there’s no way her voice would have been enough. This is a crazy night so far. Holy shit, this ep is 2 hrs tonight? We’re going to have to speed this up.

Kid from Texas with glasses. Quirky dork can sing, I like him better than the 1st two. 

Piper, big girl with big voice from Nashville. She should be recording now. Not sure how Amrica will vote for her but we’ll see.

Kelley and her daughter were great.  Good thing she could sing, or it would have been a heartbreaker LOL.

Cammie’s dreams were crushed. She couldn’t find the key. Looks great, maybe she should be an actress?

You gotta worry about all these twenty-nothing people who quit their jobs and say this is “what the are meant to do?” See the 99% comment above.

Up next is blind contestant Garrett from AL. I loved his version of Proud Mary. He is going to definitely make it hard on the competition: confident and talented. I am looking forward to hearing more form him. 

Clark the Busker has got the goods. Dr. L said if you see Keith doing the shoulder bob thing, you know you’re good. He makes the kid sweat though. Harry plays it hard but JLo sends him though. Considering some of the others, he deserved it. 

Gina brings her toys. She is really interesting. I can’t see the box on Idol every night but hey didn’t that one chick bring a rug?  I liked her.

Probably the cutest boy so far this season, Alex is up next. I am not sure his voice is all the wya there but it is definitely enough for Hollyweird. 

Cody the kid jingle singer survived Harry’s bad jokes and sang a pretty version of Somewhere Over The Rainbow. Held those notes a little too long, but he has pipes. I think Harry is right about his kind of music being embraced more now. 

Hector the Cosmetologist loves JLo’s skin. I can say from experience it is blinding. Hector can sing but he has bad habits like a lot of these amateurs. You can tell the guys who have been told they can sing by everyone. But I think he will get better over time — will he survive the group rounds?

We get a crying montage. Either people don’t curse as much or we have a kinder gentler contestant pool. 

Sarina finds out perseverance pays off. I think too many of these people have been corrupted by hearing Mariah though, damn. Enough with the 1,000 runs a song, y’all!

Alison sounded good. Jake (from the town I grew up in, Murfreesboro) had a nice tone, too. The blonde with her voice trapped inside sounded OK but I think Hollywood will crush her. 

Savion from TX sounded better than last year. I like this kid and it was good to hear him ask for help to get better. I think he may do really well. 

So now we are in Kansas City? Kid named Zack with skyscraper hair had a shaky start but maybe it’s nerves? Voice was all over the place. Harry was right, it was a phoned-in performance. But softie Keith sends him on. When he ran off it confirmed, nobody cares about Ryan anymore LOL.

Natalie form Portland (of course she is!) gives us a karaoke Adele. She’s funny but it was a total clone of Adele without the endless range. That and the over-dramatics made it hard to hear her for me. But she has a voice in there. No way she’s going to make it all the way, though. 

Jhameel from Oakland has OCD. And he sings T-Pain? He’s a cool kid, and hopefully he won’t let Harry freak him out too bad, ha. It looks like the judges are having even more fun this go-round. 

Jasmine. She’s from the Bronx but she’s also way off-key. It got really painful. She’s so deluded that she thinks her voice gave out — I think her ears gave out.

Man that BBQ looks good. Lovey looks interesting but can she even sing? She’s 16 and sounds like Minnie Mouse. But Jlo loves her. And she does sound like a pop star today. Which means I would hate her sound but voters may love it. Stage name, cracks me up. My stage name is going to be Lord K.

Jess looks funky but she’s older so hopefully she has chops. She is really unique and they had too much fun with Harry playing along with her. Could get old if she overdoes the weirdness but I liked her sound enough to hear more of it. 

I’m not sure I heard as many front-runners tonight but there were a couple standouts. What did you guys think?

— K Out!!

Idol kicks off the season y'all!

Audition Show Number One!!!! Are you ready?

OK, some quick thoughts. Ryan walks out looking very Dick Clark/Mr. Rogers-ish. He says they're going to switch things up and show us the Top 24 now -- but all we hear is a super-over produced music video with some silhouettes. The Idol theme comes on, and they tried to Funk it up, but you can't hide the schmaltz. 

Back from the break, we get the 17-city montage. The Judges are going to take us to their hometown -- are we going to Alice Springs for Keith? Naw, I bet not. Jenny is STILL from the damn block, or so she says. The Big Easy for HCJ, natch. Oh yeah, Nashville for KU. Word to the Tasterverse, Nashville is MY hometown, for real. Keith's truck is cool though.

This kid Riley is going to go far, cute and talented and humble. Is Idol trying to be more Voice-like and portray itself as supportive instead of showing the freaks for our entertainment? Let's see how long it takes to get a cringe-worthy contestant tonight.

Back from the break. Priscilla is sho Nuff from the South. Can she sing? (I love Keith's Goo Goo Cluster shirt BTW. 1st KU shirt sighting of the season.) She was OK, I would say she has some bad habits and not enough experience but We'll see her again. 

Cameron from KS. He's got some hours under his belt performing and it shows. He should go far too. At least to Hollywizzle.

Back from the break: nice harmony with the Judges. OMG the moronic girl who was 3 season behind with her shout-outs to the judges. Here comes the cavalcade of deluded losers. Thankfully it zipped by quickly.

I like the girl from Memphis, I hope she can sing. That's debatable, but she had power LOL. Jlo didn't want to send her back to the hood, thought Harry was right to say no. 

Back from the break. Cool, we FINALLY get to see the pre-pre-judging that has been going on for 14 years. Wow, imagine going through that cattle call. The red haired amnesia kid looks scary. Kyle? He kicked off the sad goodbye montage. They could have played up the creep factor but this is a kinder, gentler Idol.

Back from the break, we get the bearded barista from across the street. Dr L said he was just Aiiight. But I predict they will love him because he has that weird tone. YES! They fawn all over him. Kory is going though on the wings of pretension. I'm not saying he can't sing -- he just chose not to. Make me a latte, punk.

I like this kid Michael from MS. Hope he can sing. He can!!! In our book he was a million times better than Kory. How sweet was that dance? I love these judges. I feel like Idol has been brought back from the dead with these guys. Anyway, they are a lot of fun.

Back from the break, Ryan commanded a 15-yr-old girl to audition through the TV last year. Emily is from WPB Florida.  She was really great, and pulled off a tough song with sufficient emotion. I think she could be a big country star. She's going to Hollyweird!

So this was a positive start to Idol, some real talent, some cannon fodder and not much insanity. I'm looking forward to the next round. What did you guys think?

-- K Out!

Little Tasters! Can you believe Idol is back?

Hey everyone, K here checking in in case any of our intrepid Lil Tasters are watching yet. I hope Rubbertoe has had a great year, and Dr L actually spoke to J and he said he was going to check in with us!!! Go J!!!

Idol slipped up on me this year, so I didn't even know it was on until today! Fortunately the trusty DVR knew, so we will catch up soon. Early predictions and snarky asides to soon follow.

Here's hoping we will get everything we expect year after year from Idol, the Good the Bad and the Deluded & Off Key, and that somewhere in between there is some real talent we can root for.

K Out!

It's Confetti-eating Time!!!

Idol 2014 Results Night! I'm in the LBC and Dr. L is in Champaign Illinois, but we are comparing notes via texts and emoticons LOL.

So it all comes down to this. They stick us back in the box with the green light. Caleb and Jena re-live the audition days. Caleb says the line that will be my new catch-phrase for the next year: "Let's break some necks and cash some checks" -- THIS is American Idol!!!

So the two Idol hopefuls walk out and deliver a medley that, honestly, I fast-forwarded through. I'm going to be doing that a lot tonight LOL. They sound fine, maybe Jena had that goat-warbly thing going a little too strong, and Caleb was channeling Meat Loaf, but it's the shmaltzy opener, what do you expect. I was seriously afraid for them when the COLUMNS OF FIRE erupted behind them -- did you see how they were sweating afterward? It must have been hot as hell. You see Ryan didn't come out for any of that, nor did harry with his velvet jacket, ha. 

Ryan makes his usual creepy sexual-objectifying comment about Jlo, and she thinks about the millions they are paying her and smiles graciously. 

So they bring out Sam, and Phil Philips. They sound good together. Full disclosure, I fast forwarded again LOL. But Phil seems like an old pro already. Can't help wondering if his family is still eating dog food and living in a fridge box on Skid Row, however. 

Jennifer Nettles is next, with Jessica. I wonder why they buried her up front like this? Maybe so we don't think what might have been? I didn't care for Jess's dress but she sounded good. I may have to download some JN music. 

Ryan talks to Randy in the crowd, and Randy is wearing a hot pink velvet jacket so we don't forget about him. Randy tries to talk about "growth" but it's the same as the last 13 years, you can almost see the producer's hand up his ass making his mouth move. 

Now they show us the Jlo performance they taped last night. Nice fake intro guys! It was a combo of both takes from last night, as expected. The ending was from the 2nd for sure. You could just see me and RT on one angle! I see why they pre-taped it, Jlo wouldn't be able to spring back and do the rest of the show after two of those workouts. 

Now we see the first of the good old Idol clip montages. Harry's poker face. Ha ha! He was watching a barn-burner and barely cracked a smile! Oh, Harry.

 Next up, It's Caleb and KISS!!! 

Caleb is wearing my Cobra jacket from the Keith Urban Collection. These shirtless painted-up grandparents came out and rocked the FUG out of it. It was a little creaky on the start but once it hit the chorus it got better. For pure spectacle it was well worth it. More fire! I bet Caleb lost five pounds. After the songs, Caleb's brother comes out and shows us his future as a Juggalo. 

After the break, the second of the wacky Idol clip montages. Crazy lip syncs! This was weird, but less humiliating than most Idol clips on these type shows. The one of Keith talking about robots and corn on a train made it worth it. 

Who is Aloe Blacc? Is this the most unlikely name since Fox Mulder? Could he be any pitchier? What is this song mashup? Why so many questions? Baseball Cap Guy comes out and actually makes Dexter in his shiny suit and chin-strap beard look like a GQ cover model. Wow, Alex can really sing. He makes 90% of these other guys sound like crap in this guy-group thing. 

The Ford Rider video was weird. The funniest thing was when Majesty came onscreen and the crowd cheered -- what if she had made it to the Top 3 or so, hmm? Then they give Caleb and Jena their new obligatory 2015 Mustangs -- wow, these new Mustangs are so stylized now they look like Transformers or something. I liked the convertible that Jena got. it's just as well Caleb got a hardtop, he might blow off what hair he has left with the ragtop version. We see the Idols reward their mentors, and is it me or do we usually see them before this moment? They just kind of spring these guys on us, so I don't know how to feel about them. Good on them for getting a new Fusion, though. 

Demi Lovato comes out, and I recall the girls behind us on Performance Night going NUTS when they announced her being on the show. Really? Demi Lovato is that big of a star? This Disney factory is creeping me out, y'all. Some of the Idol girls come out and sing with her. Still seems strange not to see MK, and we get that Mystery Girl again, what's her name? And then Demi and Jena take turns yelling in each other's faces. I'll give them this, though, they blew Aloe off the stage. 

So next, Jena rolls out with a piano and sings Decode. I like her a lot better when she's just doing it without the band. Then Paramore shows up and I'm teleported back to hair and pants I had back in 1983. I didn't have the tank top, though. Maybe I should have. It's funny, Jena looks like the pro here and the chick from Paramore looks like the starry-eyed Idol finalist getting to sing with her "Idol". The balloon drop was hilarious! it totally obscured them. I think somebody read the memo wrong on the size and number of balloons. Good song, though. 

John Legend shows up and classes the joint up. Are we on a different show now? Malaya gives it the old college try but she's in too high a key. Mr. Legend sounds silky smooth as usual. I wish there were more like this!

Now the 3rd Idol Memory Lane clipfest. Ryan does a creepy Time-Travel narration (recorded in real time during the auditions but talking about the thousands of hopefuls as if they are past-tense losers already -- which I guess they are). I wanted him to tell the girl who said "I got a Golden Ticket": "Yeah, but you didn't make it." 

Maybe Ryan is like the main character in Slaughterhouse Five now, and exists outside of time. It is terrifying to contemplate. 

Back to reality: Alex teams up with Jason Mraz. This is shaping up nicely. The harmonies with Alex are great. Dr. L said she would buy this song! Best of the night so far. Just when I think the sound on my TV is going bad I hear something like this and realize it's OK, LOL, it's just the other singers. 

Randy and Ryan's family make an awkward intro for him to sing. They look just like the Atlanta Junior League and their loyal servant in the pink jacket. Ryan assaults our ears with the worst vocal ever on idol, and then Richard Marx rises from the grave to show that even a corpse can show Ryan up, if it has talent. 

The 4th clip montage is really funny. The judges were so entertaining this year. I am so glad they are coming back, it's a good mix of personalities. Hey, there was Casey and Haley out in the crowd from Season 10! I wonder if they are still a couple? So cute. 

Darius Rucker is in the house! He sounds great, but is the mix off tonight? it's hit or miss. CJ strolls out with Dexter. It's an OK jam, but not as great as it probably sounded on paper. Thank you, Idol, for flashing to the shot of the woman with the enormous boobs, I was starting to zone out. 

Lady Antebellum frolicked across my TV in fast-forward and now Ryan is standing with Jena and Caleb's fams. John Locke from Lost is back there behind them too. Caleb's dad looks like a guy you could buy some good acid from in back of the Roadhouse. 

Now the second of the pre-recorded songs from last night. You can hear the shouters from the crowd name-checking the judges apropos of nothing! So funny. This was the second taping, because you can hear the clapping. But Jlo's vocal was better for sure. All I can say is, you guys really missed out on Blister In The Sun LOL. 

So now the moment of truth: Jena and Caleb onstage with Ryan awaiting the results. Jena looks great, and Caleb looks like he has a spacesuit tuxedo made of metallic leeches. Dim the lights…

WTF?!!! Caleb wins?!!! Wow, I did not see that coming. Although, looking back on last night, he REALLY got the applause. So maybe we should have known. Jena is doing her best not to burst into flames I think. She's smiling, as are her parents, but it's the kind of stank-face smile when you know the camera is on and you won't show your enemies you have real human emotion. Nobody looks more surprised than Caleb himself, except maybe the judges, who all stood there looking gobsmacked. 

I LOVE that he made no immediate attempt to sing his victory song. I sort of hoped he could blow it off entirely, but he was a trooper and sang about 30% of it. I almost feel sorry for Simon Fuller and 19 Entertainment; good luck marketing Caleb's AOR/Classic Rock album to the over 40 crowd who love the genre he sings in LOL. 

So that's our season guys! It was fun, started off strong, and then got idol-ized by the end. Maybe next year they will just throw the votes out altogether, and if they know in advance they will get who they want, they can stop with the shenanigans. See you next time!

K and Dr. L Out!!!

Live Blogging The Finale With RT and K

Idol Finale Recap: Just like Highlander, there can be only one!

This was an extra special Finale, because for the first time ever, Master K and Rubbertoe got to team up and check out the finale together! Dr. L was so jealous! But she had to work while we were able to slip away and spend the day at Idol. It was so much fun. 

We were able to have a few beers and some tacos before the show,

and RT got some pictures of some of the superfans. One guy had a sign with every member of Jena's family's signature except hers -- you gotta admire his tenacity but it was bordering on creepy. We got there early enough to get great seats, about six rows back on stage right. Idol Wannabe Sighting! We saw Emmanuel Zidor posing for lots of pics down front. Don't remember who he is? I think he got knocked out in Hollywood or shortly thereafter:

So onto the warmup. The guy working the crowd up deserves a special mention. He was like a little Ryan Seacrest clone on crack. He took about a million selfies with the crowd and kept up the DJ action with music from his cell phone. Songs I never thought I'd hear at an Idol event, like 2Pac and Dr. Dre singing California Love: "Out on bail fresh outta jail, California dreamin/Soon as I stepped on the scene, I'm hearin hoochies screamin'"--it was pretty funny hearing the crowd sing along.

Idol-adjacent sighting: Jena's brother was working it for all he was worth pimping himself out for pictures. RT pointed out how funny it was when there was nobody left to snap one with, he looked so lost LOL. 

So we ran through rehearsal on going nuts/bananas when Ryan kicks off the show, and then Seacrest appears, looking like Ricky Ricardo's maitre-D at the Copacabana in his ivory jacket. The show begins. You can't hear it on the TV, but throughout the show there are continuous random screams of "WE LOVE YOU JLO" or "HARRY!!!" and occasionally a contestant's name. 

They kick it off with a funny video of Jena and Caleb battling it out on a prom stage. Then the contest begins, with songs chosen by Simon Fuller, longtime Idol producer.

Jena sings Dog Days are Over, by Florence and the Machine. I have to say, she sounds really good in person, and she knows how to work the stage. We thought it wasn't bad. A good start to the show. The judges love it, of course. 

They cut to commercial, and then Caleb comes out to sing Dream On, by Aerosmith, the classic. This guy has some pipes. Holy crap, he just kept building. I don't know if this comes across on TV, but the crowd reaction to him vs Jena's 1st song was about 3x as enthusiastic. He definitely took Round One.

Next was Idol's Favorite Moments. Jena does the Elvis song, I Can't Help Falling In Love. RT turned to me and said, "really?" He wasn't blown away the first time, like the judges seemed to want everyone to be. She does an OK job, but after it was over, Rubbertoe shrugged and said he didn't really hear anything this time that blew him away either. I almost forgot, they had the Seacrest Lite Guy come out while we were on the break to warn us not to clap during the next song. This was it. I guess he didn't want us to ruin a "moment", but there wasn't really one to screw up. They praise her like it's one, for sure. All I kept thinking was, now we heard her do Creep twice and this song twice, in case we didn't get it the first time.

We really had a good laugh watching Randy trot over and hold up the numbers after the performances. HA! I guess they had to give the Dawg something to do, that redundant sack of crap. 

PS, all the security guys standing around acting menacing on the edge of the stage looked like they were straight out of the Russian Mob. 

So Caleb does Maybe I'm Amazed again. I was amazed at how well his voice had recovered after they had reminded us One million times last week that he had a strained vocal cord. No problems tonight. He did another stellar job. of course the judges had to play it up as if it was Jena's round this time -- I can assure you the crowd was not as conflicted. After they hemmed and hawed that it was a "tie" now going into the third round, one of the ladies beside us called BS on it. Regardless of the motives, they try to perpetrate some drama. 

The Director comes on the mic during the break and tells us that if we stick around, we can see the judges sing (to be aired tomorrow). Of course we are! More on that later. 

So Ryan comes back from the break and reminds us Jena was the first ever Wild Card to make it this far, OMG! Rubbertoe called this tactic way back in the season. They have to trot it out so we can factor that into our voting for this Plucky Underdog. She sings her "single", and it was OK. Catchy. RT has a theory that they give the contestant they want to win the better song. This one maybe had more of a melody.

Caleb sings his "winning single". It was definitely more of a rocker tune, but it wasn't quite as catchy. I had to crack up that he gets the explosion at the end, and the whole time he had the Illuminati Triangle behind him onscreen LOL. No explosion or choir or bagpipes behind Jena, but maybe they don't think they need them. 

So Ryan sends us off to the voting with a host of Idols swarming the stage singing the Kelly song Break Away. It was hard to remember some of them -- and what happened to MK? She wasn't there. I did a little investigating and found out she was sick, but will be on the tour. 

http://www.bustle.com/articles/25237-why-isnt-mk-nobilette-at-the-american-idol-finale-singer-tweets-an-explanation

So the main show is over. While we wait, the Seacrest On Speed Dude whips the crowd back up with more tunes, this time with some kind of DJ app that blends beats together. RT and I compared notes about who really won the night. Without much elaboration, it was clear that Caleb did better on the night -- but that idol definitely wants Jena to won, so she probably will. Listening back to Caleb's "winning" song, it was much weaker than Jena's, and maybe the explosion was to help mask that. If you look at Caleb's face afterward, he seems a little disappointed -- maybe he was hoping to hear some praise from the judges and didn't get it, or maybe he was bummed his 3rd and final song was kind of light-rock-pop-blah? (Side note, we saw him after the show and he seemed pumped, and happy. So maybe here at the end of the show he was just coming down realizing this was his last song in the competition). 

The post-show cranks up with an Idol "supergroup": Keith on lead guitar, Randy on bass, Harry on keys (two keyboards -- a piano and an electric organ) and Jlo in a cute little dress sitting on Harry's piano, singing lead. before the actual taping, they jam on about four different songs, the best of which were Dire Straits Sultans of Swing and Violent Femmes Blister in the Sun. Makes me wish they could just play a set off the top of their heads…

The actual songs they perform are a pairing of True Colors by Cyndi Lauper, blending into Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac. You will see all these tomorrow. (Take note: at some point rearranging the set they bumped Jena's Big Board sign, and it was dangling at an angle -- I kept worrying it would fall and Ricky Minor would go Splat! But it held on the rest of the night. I'm curious if you ever see it tomorrow night.) The 2nd take was by far the best, but the crowd forgot the Ryan Lite Dude's admonition not to clap, and we clapped all through the 2nd run of True colors -- it might screw up the take. Too bad if it does -- as RT astutely pointed out, Jlo was a bit 'pitchy' on the first take LOL. 

So they call it done and they break down the set again. This time they set up a seizure-inducing light array for Jlo's dance number. We were very entertained watching the choreographer working with the Faux JLo and the dancers, tweaking some of the steps. I was cracking up -- it was so elaborate, I couldn't imagine what any more rehearsal was going to help if they didn't know it by now! Jlo came out in a bathrobe and did a little step or tow, and I guess they locked it in.

So when the lights come up, and the stage facade opens, Jlo is now out of the robe, revealing a slinky spangly outfit. I can't tell you the name of her song -- maybe something about The First Time? She kept saying that, and counting off the Second Time, Third Time, etc. It was an OK banging-beat number, but what made it was that Jlo was dancing her ass off. I was actually afraid for her a couple of times, jumping on tables and whatnot. She really is a fantastic performer, she gave 150%. When it was over, just as we were about to leave (RT said, "I can't imagine her doing another take after THAT") -- they said she was going to do another take. Damned if she didn't do it all over again. It might be me, but I felt like the effort made the 2nd take suffer a little. She again danced admirably, but maybe at 125% this time. There was an amusing glitch as her mic was probably supposed to be turned off during one note, after a sequence where she probably didn't really have enough breath, and holy crap was it off-key. But hey, at least she was really singing the darn thing. She thanked the crowd after the songs, a real class act. 

So we made our way outside and strolled by the media set-up with Caleb and Jena talking to the press.

I snapped a couple pics, but there was a pretty good mob so I didn't try to get closer. I almost walked right into Dexter, and could have probably actually talked to him, but by this point I was tired and ready to head home. All in all it was a great night at Idol, and so much fun to share the experience with RT.

Now we just have to wait and see how America saw it…

Dr. L and K Out!

I watched 500-plus hours of this?

Ah a trip down Memory Lane with Idol. How simple was it in the beginning with Kelly? Wow, none of the Idol BS distracting us. They showed us a selection of the Idols over the years, while conveniently leaving out a few LOL. It's not like there are 13 superstars out there that were minted by the Idol machine. But there were some great ones. Didn't Ryan transform, though? I like to think he's that same bleach-tipped douchebag on the inside.

So finally the contestants come out. Seems like Sesame Street, one of these things is not like the other. Won't be as much drama without Jessica -- but wait! Seems like Caleb has some medical drama. Maybe to win over the fans he alienated after he called them retards?

The judges come out and Jlo is wearing the see-thru dress from Barbarella. Keith is wearing a t-shirt anyone can actually get, from the Ryman auditorium in Nashville. Ryan couldn't take the messiness of the scruff look, he's back to his mandroid self.

Hey! On the clip from the Idol's trip home, they showed Jena hugging on a King Charles spaniel! That's the kind of dog Dr. L & I have, so cute.

Now a band called Chainsmokers is singing a song called Selfie? WTF? Now it's like a lame-ass club up in Idol. Seriously, this is the most soulless honky dance beat ever. Mercifully, it's over quick. Then they trot out a video of Farmbot (Carrie Underwear) to remind us how the Idol Overlords made her, and I guess can break her (not).

So first up: The Dawg selects a 25-year-old song from INXS to show us "where Caleb can go in the future." OK---? Make sure to rub it in that he is not 100% vocally, guys. He does OK on the song, holding back a little, understandably, only had a couple breaks in the performance due to the injury. It was a pretty good song choice. The judges at this point are throwing only softballs.

PP pops in with a cell phone video to remind us white guys with guitars can win!

Up next, Alex. Randy picks a Bastille song. It starts off shaky to me. Then he really comes alive. He ends strong. I don't know if this was the best song choice, and maybe his nerves got to him, but he pulled it off pretty well. Jlo loves it, the Harry gives him the "constructive" compliment. As if they need to shaft him to keep Caleb in! But they're hedging their bets. Hey, I just noticed: does Alex have really tiny ears? Weird.

Kris Allen comes out of Witness Protection to remind us he won, how funny.

So Jena. Stepping up the Crying Game jacket this week to Cher levels.   Doing Titanium. The lower register is nonexistent as usual. Just noticed her pants make her look like she's a lion tamer or something. I think the chorus of this was just kind of screechy. If I can predict, this was her worst performance of the night. Of course, the judges act as if she knocked it out of the park. I didn't hear it. Jlo looks like she wanted to keep it real, amazingly. Ryan has to remind us she's a week away from winning LOL.

David Cook appears in the cellphone video. Why do these look so crappy? My phone is nothing special and it takes better video than this. Maye it's more "real" this way.
 Now Round Two, the judges picks.  They choose Imagine Dragons for Caleb.  I find myself cringing when he sings, thinking about his voice. He's hitting a few more bum notes now, but overall he pulls it off. I don't know if his was the most exciting song choice ever but he will coast on his old performances. Jlo has a funny comment about telepathy with Caleb. It's all smoke and mirrors from them at this point anyway.

Candice Glover? Who's that? :-)

The judges pick Stay by Rihanna for Alex. This was much more in his wheelhouse. I wasn't familiar with the original but I liked this version. Would a pop music fan love or hate what he did with it? I like that he always has genuine emotion in his performances, every time. Keith has a moment with Parrot Breath but the judges love it.

Ha! Lee DeWyze reports in from the closet of his apartment LOL. What a f@#&ing loser.

Jena: the judges pick a Demi Lovato song -- I guarantee you I have never heard it. Maybe the tweens will swoon over it but I thought it sucked like a Tijuana donkey show. Wow, this was all over the place. Amazingly (not) the judges act like this was the BOMB. sigh.

Fantasia makes her vid, and reminds us you need a little of the cray-cray to make it in this biz. But her sentiment seemed really heartfelt. BTW, I really love the banter from the judges this year, so glad they are coming back.

Round Three, the hometown folks pick a classic Led Zep song for Caleb. In his prime he would have SLAYED it. As it is he does a pretty good job. Jlo does her version of the Santanico Pandemonium dance LOL (remember From Dusk Til Dawn?) Of course the crowd goes nuts, because hey, good music blows the shit out of Demi Lovato and her ilk any day. Ryan makes a creepy joke about Jlo giving everyone an erection? Damn.

OMG, Scotty McCreery. He really parleyed Idol into a trip out of his Alfred E. Neuman-looking existence.

Alex: the hometown folks select One Freaking Direction?!! Holy shit. I hate these guys. They give him the fancy graphic package behind him. This was probably a win for the text-voting tween girls but was this song forgettable or what? Would've been great for six or seven weeks ago, but not a "moment" in the least. The judges just gloss over it. Keith tries to keep it real but even he was sugar-coating it. "Your averages are strong" is a nice way of saying this one was not.

Jordin Sparks is a shell of her former self. I like how she says idol gave her "her Start". What's her Finish? (I was actually surprised to see she ranked 11th on all-time idol sales. That's a hell of a lot better than Candice at 54th...)

Fox has a show where naive girls are tricked into marrying a fake prince Harry? My God, Fox really sucks. They'll cancel quality scripted shows in heartbeat, just to put crap like this on the air.

 So, the hometown wants Jena to do Creep AGAIN? This is kind of a weird gamble. Dr. L said she would rather hear her sing something else. If she was trying to re-create a "moment" it was a fail in my book. The judges look less than enthused. Harry cobbles together some nonsense for his critique. Keith talks about everything but her actual performance. Jlo anoints her the winner. Gag! So anticlimactic.

So Caleb and Jena advance to the Finale -- what started off  as a breath of fresh air, unpredictable season has been wrangled back into Idol consistency.

-- Dr L & K Out!

Musical Platypi

Idol Fab Four: they start off with a recap (Vote For The Worst used to call them "re-craps") of the fake drama of last week's "twist". Then the REAL twist happens, when Ryan appears with about a week of scruff and NO TIE? Holy shit, it must be the Apocalypse. The theme is apparently love songs? And breakups?

The Top Four walk out, and only Jena has any color on -- coincidence? There are no coincidences on Idol. Harry calls out Ryan on the scruff -- it's that obvious. For those of you who might read this and not live in LA, there's a lot of pressure to have the scruff, because clean-shaven guys stand out like lepers or something.

First up, Caleb. Doing a Bon Jovi classic. It actually shows a little more range than some of his rockin' tunes. It's a pretty typical Caleb performance in all other ways. I actually saw Bon Jovi back in the day, I'm that old. He flew around the stage on wires like Peter Pan at one point and someone in the audience pelted him with ice LOL. Ah, memories.
The judges love it. He's pretty obviously safe. The "selfie" gag is ridiculous. We should Photoshop somebody like Josef Stalin with him or something.

Up next, Jessica.  Doing a Kelly song. Could be awesome, or suicide. It starts off like a deer in the headlights thing, but livens up a little in the chorus. I don't know if it's the arrangement or what, but I didn't love it. Bad song choice. This is the part of the competition where you can't have any missteps. The judges make some really good comments -- Harry says it best, she has to externalize the emotions, and she isn't doing it.

I am reminded of the old joke about the two guys camping in the woods that wake up to a bear busting into the camp. They run and get some distance on the bear, when one guy stops to put on his shoes. The other guy says, "That isn't going to help you outrun this bear!" And the first guy says, I don't have to outrun the bear -- I just have to outrun you." Jessica just needs to outrun Alex at this point, and it remains to be seen if she will.

Alex: doing Too Close by Alex Clare. Starts off strong. I really like this song. This was an awesome song choice. He does a great job with it, and may have just buried Jessica. Harry loves it. Keith and Jlo want more from him, but I think he doesn't have to outrun the bear here.

Jena's gonna do Pat Benatar? She sings Heartbreaker. The phrasing as usual annoys the hell out of me, but the song forces her to project, so there's less of the low register funkiness. It was more like one of her duets with Caleb, which I usually like.  The judges wanted more performance from her, but I think this was more challenging vocally for her and she had her hands full keeping up. In the post-critique segment you could tell she doesn't like the negative comments LOL.

Round Two: Caleb does Creedence. He really is going to do well in whatever band he winds up in post-Idol. He does a fine job, nothing shocking but predictably good.

Jessica: doing    a Pink song, wearing the leather jacket from The Crying Game LOL. Ironic that this song says "I got my rock moves" when she has none. They crank up the stage flames though, and then the judges crank up the flames of their own. In her post-critique comment section she thought THIS was her best perfomance? They really have no clue.

Jena is doing Lady Gaga. The arrangement SUCKS beyond belief. They tried to turn a dance-pop song into an Evanescence song or something. The judges look like they're watching testimony at a war-crimes trial or something. It was not good, even if she is TCO. Keith says he likes how they butchered the chorus? WTF? Jlo basically confesses that it's a Caleb/Jena show, even if she didn't like that performance so much. Harry asks why she bailed out on the high end, and she admits she couldn't do it. Smart girl. She's going to sail on, regardless.

Alex Round Two: doing I'm Yours, Jason Mraz. Been done to death on Idol, but the sentiment is sweet. I had a shiny-armed jacket like that in 1984, except it said CORVETTE down the arm, LOL. Classy! Alex does OK, but coming off the over-the-top performances of the others, it seems a little subdued? The crowd liked it. The judges, not so much. They wanted him to step up to the others' level. I'm torn -- I am kind of tired of the big overblown performances but it would be nice if he went a little bigger.

Can I just say, this show is too freaking long?

Round three: Caleb does Maybe I'm Amazed, a classic McCartney song. I wonder  why he doesn't do more new stuff? Oh well. I love this song. Best song of the night so far. That was fantastic! At this point, it's Caleb's game to lose. That was a really smart song to end on. Harry said it was phenomenal, Keith invoked Nicole Kidman, Jlo said it was his best yet.

Jessica: she does Gaga, You and I. She looks great, I'm not familiar with this song, but i like this country vibe she does. Perfect absolutely perfect song for her. She knocked it out of the park. The judges love it. She made some ground back on Alex tonight, but is it enough? I have been living for these moments the past few weeks, when the judges like a contestant's performance and they can bask in it and smile. Jessica, Alex don't hear it often enough.

Jena does an old Elvis song. A really brilliant, gutsy choice to just sing it with her own piano accompaniment. This was fantastic. For the first time I could actually hear what her boosters have been hearing. I always feel like when the Idols go out on a limb and ditch the band they deserve big time kudos. A "musical platypus" indeed. She just snatched the crown back from Caleb.

Alex does Yellow by Coldplay, from when Coldplay was actually great, and not the bloated hype monster they are now. This is actually a pretty smart move in a way, as it's one of the newest, most recognizable songs for a younger audience. He did a great job, looked good, and the judges praised it. All the Idols did their best on the last songs.

Dr. L said she's going to vote for Randy LOL. When he walked out on stage it was like he was like the fifth Beatle or something.  This is a tough call on the B2 -- not who's going to be in it, which is obviously Jessica and Alex, but who is going home. I would say Alex was consistently OK on his three songs, but no fireworks; Jessica was OK on one song, ai-ight on another and really great on the last. For what it's worth the judges seemed harder on Jessica than Alex early on, but they did give her that flamethrower special effect, which is usually a hypnotism method they use to keep somebody in.

I'm going to say Alex goes home. I would have said Jessica no doubt before that last song, but now I'm not so sure...

Dr. L and K out!

The Fab Four

Round 1: Breakups Caleb - You give love a bad name - Caleb rocked it...especially in the upper register (10) Jessica - Since you've been gone - This is horrible. I always have a hard time when current idols cover past idols, I'm not sure why...be it Kelly or Carrie...this just isn't good. Its like she is screaming the whole thing (2) Alex - Feels like I'm too close - Classic Alex version of the song. Good. Not one of Alex's best....but still pretty good (7) Jena - Heartbreaker - Pat Benatar - This is a great choice for her. Mmmmmm.....I'm not loving it as much as I thought I would. It seems a touch high for her....I would have liked her to have taken it down a couple of chords..(6). Round 1 Goes to Caleb. Round 2: Dedications/b> Caleb- CCR (One of my alltime favorites)....and this is s a great choice for Caleb. Another great performance. Down a couple notches from the first one...but still really good (8). Jessica - So what ...Pink. Beginning came across completely corny...but once it picked up it was awesome. (wow...the judges are throwing her under the bus on this one. I COMPLETELY disagree with them here. (8) Jena - Bad Romance. Wow....this is how you take a good song and completely destroy is. This arrangement was absolute hideous. This is beyond bad. (2). Alex - I'm yours - Great Great Choice. I like it...but don't love it. What I'm thinking during this performance is that Alex has peaked. He is good at what he does...and I will buy his album because I like him....but as far as AI goes.....he's not going higher than 3rd. This finale is already ordained...and the judges don't need to try so hard to ensure that because it was already going to happen despite their pimping Caleb and Jena. (6) Round 2: Close tie between Caleb and Jessica (despite the judges). Edge goes to Caleb though. Round 3: Maekups Caleb - Maybe I'm amazed - Another Amazing Caleb performance. I love that Caleb showed that he can do more than just an upbeat rock anthem. He rocked this generally slow ballad. That was a solid (10). (Can I just say that I find it ULTRA annoying how they keep going to commercials after a performance and come back for the judges comments. Why are they doing this? It completely breaks the flow of the show. Jessica - You and I. Now THIS is how you take a Lady Gaga song and make it your own. Another solid (10). Jena - Can't help falling in love(ELVIS) - Pretty....but left me saying...so what? It just didn't go anywhere (5). [Tou've got to be kidding me....Jennifer gives her a standing 0 1/2 way through..and Keith as well. Jennifer was just too WAAAAAAAAAY over the top. That performance was no where near the hype that they gave her. Alex- Yellow. A good cover of this song by Alex....but I just get the feeling that Alex isn't really even trying that hard at this point. (6) Round 3: Tie between Jessica and Caleb. Edge going to Jessica on this one. Final Totals: Caleb: 28 Jena: 13 Jessica: 20 Alex: 19 Wow....I found my final tally interesting because I expected Alex to have the lowest total. Jena? Perhaps I expected more from her. Obviously the Judges disagreed and America will disagree as well. America will send Jessica home.....followed next week by Alex....setting up the Caleb/Jena finale that AI has so desperately wanted.

Results nite --- whaaa?

A couple of things: first off, Dr. L & I have gotten three or four emails from the Idol audience people this season, on the day of the show, to get tickets. It just isn't enough time, to drop everything with no notice and drive up and wait to get in. But maybe it will work out next time and we can go. We got an email today! I wish we could have gone and seen Keith perform, but we just couldn't make it.

But the real thing I wanted to ask was, did anyone think it was weird, the "twist" where the Idols basically get their own Judges Save? As soon as Ryan announced it, I told Dr. L this sounded like some shenanigans. In my mind, the only reason they would trot this out was if one of TPTB favorites was in danger of getting voted off. Does Sam qualify? I guess they wanted him one more week over Jessica, right? We speculated that Jessica picked up the remaining Alabama voting block once CJ got the boot, and this put Sam out.

And who do you think voted No? Sam sure did seem at peace with getting the boot. I wonder if he and Jessica voted no, just to get it over with LOL.

The Love Child of Jason Mraz and David Lynch

Idol songs America has chosen is the theme this week -- I wonder if the sky was the limit or did they have to choose from a list?

Keith t-shirt update: is this from the show Heroes? Ryan makes a bizarre comment about somebody's cologne. (On the first break, he jumps into Harry's arms like that monkey boy character from SNL about 15 years ago.)

They show a clip about Jason Mraz-- I've heard wanna-be Idols sing his song a million times, but couldn't have told you what he looked like until now. He's the Mentor tonite.  Dr. L said he has the most pleasant voice, she wants him to read a book to her LOL.

First up, Alex in the KOD spot. Mraz has some good advice about opening Alex up. Let's see if he takes it. Doing Sweater Weather. I like this, I think he's modern and catchy enough with this to stay, but this is the top of the show and he could be forgotten. They give him the back-handed compliments so maybe they think (or hope) he's gone?

Caleb: oh, dear God, he's doing the lamest Aerosmith song of all time. I guess it's a "hit" but literally any other song by them is more genuine Rock. I'm sure he'll do fine. Then again... the start of this is awful. He's off-key all through it. Sure, he powers up in the end, but damn. This was a major mistake in my book. Let's see if they call him on it: nope, JLo turns it into a positive somehow. Dr. L said she wonders if they cut Jessica the same break. Harry is talking about looking in the camera? WTF? What about the singing? Keith is talking about "feeling", what bullshit.

Alex, Jena and Sam perform together -- nice harmonies here. Keith loved it! Never heard a group number get that kind of crowd reaction, impressive.

Jessica is doing Human by Christina Perri? Never heard it. Mraz gives her a crash course in performing LOL. This song has a weak opening, but a nice chorus - her voice is strong and clear in those parts. I don't care for the song but I tough she made the best of it, WAY better than Caleb. Best of the night so far in some ways, but Alex was more pleasant. True to my prediction, they can't really praise her, but they have to "school" her on what she did wrong. She still seems happy -- maybe they beat her up less this week, so it's a victory.

Sam: they dressed him like a nitrous oxide salesman at a Phish concert, what the hell. His dog (and Ryan's) are so cute. Who the F is Arianna Grande? She's wearing one of Harry's sweaters as a dress. Jason wants him to get lost in the song, that shit will never happen. Doing "Sing"  -- nope, he did not get Funky with it. Still, it was a decent vocal. Keith craps over his lack of falsetto, but JLo likes his "looser" performance. Harry blames him for "de-funking" he band, LOL. I think it's clear now they want a Caleb-Jena Finale.

Godzirra is coming! Can't wait.

Jena - My Body, another song I've never heard. At least Idol is losing some of the old dusty standards they used to perpetrate on us every year. The song begins and it's a warbly bag of marbles in her mouth. Then the chorus kicks in and it's just kind of sharp and shreieky to me. The next verse is better, but this is is all over the place for me. Her performance is at least more lively than the others. The TCO gets the light effects, don't they? And Jlo just creams all over it. Yep, they just praise her to the moon. And -- wouldn't you know it? The "random" song America chose is one she wanted to do anyway? What a coincidence.

Caleb and Jessica do the Stones. Wow, they sound good together. Caleb almost knocks her out with a wild swing LOL. She looks uncomfortable singing about making love to Caleb, it's so funny. Ryan picks up on it and tries to milk the discomfort for a cheap laugh, typical. Imagine Ryan making love to you -- yeah, that's creepy as hell, isn't it?

Alex is backstage getting made up. His hair is dangerously close to Eraserhead levels. He gets a video request to sing Say Something. He has a really radio-friendly voice. Do these slow, Emo songs help or hinder a contestant? It would be interesting to see a study. I think his voice sounds pretty, but it is kind of putting me to sleep. The crowd loves it, Keith jumps to his feet, so they appreciate the vocal. Harry actually says kind things! They have to eliminate him, Sam and Jessica in the next few weeks, so who knows who will go first.

Jena: doing Valerie. Maybe taking on too big a voice in this song, though she didn't choose it. One thing that works for her is she believes she belongs here onstage, so that paves over a lot of her sometimes less-than-stellar vocals. I thought it was a little too old for her.
Incredibly, Jlo keeps it real. The crowd is so primed to hear praise they nearly revolt. When harry asks what name she wants to be known by, she confirms she's a little Diva by saying she wants to be known by just her first name. Hah!

Sam, doing a Fray song. They open on it with very little fanfare, maybe for good reason: this is another pleasantly forgettable performance. Jlo reads off her script, because she probably forgot what she was supposed to think.  So does Keith. They (Idol) don't want to sink him but don't save him either.

Jessica: got some kind of glam stage setup here. Thank Gd for once she doesn't have her guitar! This is a Lana Del Rey song. She looks nice, great tattoo! and this was great for her range. Harry actually liked it -- and I agree with Keith that there was a David Lynch vibe to it. Jlo had to take a dump on it at the end -- got to protect Idol's TCO.

Caleb: holy shit -- Whitesnake?!! THIS is what Caleb is built to sing. He could go on tour tomorrow with a rock band. Effortless.  To us, he's the one to beat, but who knows what America thinks.

So the Bottom 2 should be Sam for sure, and maybe Alex. Now, they said Jessica was in the B2 last week, so maybe she doesn't have the voter base. So I guess I will say the B2 is Jessica and Sam, and if there is justice, Sam goes home. If the tween girls really are googly-eyed about him, Jessica goes home.

Dr L & K out!

The AI- Five

To begin with...I Loved Loved Loved Jason Mraz as a mentor. Young, Contemporary and I really thought he gave them great feedback. Kickin off the show...Alex. I recognize the song, but I don't really know it. This is a great choice for Alex..it plays very well to the uniqueness of his voice. Caleb - oh wow...this is not good at all. I have never heard Caleb sing so badly off key.....definitely got much better as the tempo picked up, actually got pretty good 1/2 way through, not enough to make up for the truly awful beginning. Oh man....I wish they would stop these duets, trios on performance nights. Save it for the results shows....it breaks up the performances too much for me. Next up - Jessica (Country Cool). Song starts off kind of boring and way too low for her range. I kinda feel sorry for Jessica with this song....the song just plain sucks. I don't know this song but the lyrics are too repetitive and the melody of the song is just not exciting. Sam - The vocals were good...and I thought the song was a great choice for him. I liked the up tempo groove feel of the song...and I loved his look. But the performance aspect drug him down. Sam is just incapable of coming out of his shell. Jena - Another song I've never heard. Started off bad...maneuvering the crowd and singing is not for Jena. But she really picked it up. By far the best of the first round. Jena is really becoming a great performer. Round 1 - Jena, Alex, Caleb, Sam and Jessica Second round Alex - Say something....oh man, I hate this song....so super boring. I actually like Alex's version much better than the original...at least Alex's unique delivery brought something interesting to an otherwise really boring song. Jena - A good solid performance, but not as great as her first one. Great in the upper range. Jena also had a great look in both of the rounds...loved the red/white stripes and the b/w dress. Sam- Vocal is good...but again, the performance is weak. He had his eyes shut throughout most of the song. I was hoping that Sam would grow more as the weeks advanced. I'm now convinced that he is just a little too immature and shy to really be more of a performer than he is right now. Jessica - What the what....the overly dramatic initial pose was just weird. Vocal is awesome though. Performance is getting more and more kitschy...just plain weird. She looks beautiful in the red dress though. Keith called it "David Lynch-ish"...I love that comment. Caleb - Great song choice for him. The song allowed him to highlight his top range vocals. Round 2 - Caleb, Alex, Jena, Jessica and Sam Bottom 2 will definitely be Jessica and Sam. Rubbertoe would send Sam home.....America, however will say goodbye to Jessica....although Sam's turn will be next week because it is obvious that the top 3 will be Caleb, Jena and Alex.

I Can Haz Idol?

Idol Top Six: interesting that they try to "label" the contestants -- I was wondering what they'd say about Jessica ("Rebel") and Jena ("Wildcard"). Alex is a "Troubadour"? Eh, I guess it fits as well as any frame. They might as well have had a "?" for him and "Winner" for Jena. You gotta love that they're playing her like a longshot.

Dr. L commented that when the Idols came out, Jessica was working the legs! I guess she stepped up her game to compete where she can.

So it's "a little bit Country, a little bit Rock and Roll".

ROCK

Jena -- in the KOD spot doing Barracuda. Wow, it takes balls to attempt Ann Wilson. She really doesn't have the pipes for this until the very end -- I always suspect that she's a better singer with some bad affectations. BTW, I finally listened to Lorde "Royals" for the first time and I get what Jena is going for. I wish she would just sing. Her listless performance took away from the vocal, but she's not going anywhere.

I liked Harry's new hairdo, but Keith's shirt was obviously a re-tread of the classic Woodstock bird. He'll step it back up next week. Who the F is R5? I have to admit I'd never listened to Skrillex until today, and I never will again LOL.

Next up: Sam. It's Time by Imagine Dragons. I think he kind of came alive by the end of the song. He's always consistent with the vocals but it's his arc to try and sell the emotion of the songs. I think this felt more like a real performance and not Sam onstage at the Retirement Home on Bingo Night with Gram and Grampa. I never understand how guys like him come back after being voted off -- he hasn't changed that much, so why is anyone else voting for him?

CJ: the man from Jasper. Is this his week to go home? He's doing a feel-good AOR classic, American Woman.   He commits the Idol primary sin of singing lyrics that have "gotta go" or "bye-bye". I think he could sing a rock song like this, but this was not the best performance. Kind of herky-jerky. Harry takes his weekly crap on him but they all kind of take it easy -- I think they know he's probably gone. Nice jacket, though!

Side note: Ryan's patter with the Judges, JLo in particualr, has been cringe-inducing all season. Sometimes with her he almost seems like a creepy lech. But he's pushing this awkward, forced familiarity on all of them that rings totally false. The banter between the Judges this season, ironically, seems genuine. I can believe they kind of get along. Ryan just seems like a doofus inserting himself into the mix because he's a gazillionaire and the "veteran" of the show.

Alex: namedropping Jeff Buckley and Jason Mraz -- you can hear them in his music. I'm not feeling his jacket with the contrasting piping. So glad his pants reach his shoes, however. He's doing a Neon Trees song. Keith always knows the lyrics to these songs, have you noticed? Alex is a little out of his comfort zone, and we see a more rocking side. It's probably good for America to see it. He probably needs to do some cardio if he wants to do it again, LOL.  Wow, the Judges didn't embrace it. Is he competition for Sam? It wasn't his best performance but we'll see how he does later.

Caleb: the resident Rocker. Doing Sting Me. I like that he doesn't go for the low-hanging fruit, and picks some out-of-the-box songs. Dr. L says now we've left the competition and are just watching a show. Caleb is born for this. Best of the night so far. The mic drop was hilarious, and showed he was a trooper.

Jessica: in the ... bottom Pimp Spot? Other than her standing in place, she was the only legit rocker besides Caleb. Great voice, possibly the best left here? Amazingly Harry praised her!! They all kind of back-handed praised her, but of course, it's with caveats. I see now why the had Jena up first: they had to distance her from the real rockers. I wonder if they will change the order for the second rounds?

COUNTRY

Yep. Sam is up first in the Country round. Doing Shania Twain. This is way too reserved. When it hits the chorus he relaxes a lot. The song is too old for him, for sure. Harry looks like he's passing a kidney-stone as he watches Sam sing. Keith brings up the relax thing. When Ryan asks if he was comfortable Ryan makes the creepy Uncle thing again -- ugh! Just stop it. This was kind of forgettable. \

WTF -- Grumpy Cat? This reminded me of last week, what Rubbertoe said about the Special Guests on the show. Idol is digging up YouTube LOLCats now? Damn.

Caleb: doing a FarmBot song. He rocked the shit out of that -- I don't know if you could call it Country any more, but it was good. The beginning was a bit of a stutter, but he kicked in pretty quick The first was way more of a moment, for sure, but this was good.

Alex: doing a classic Willie song. He does better on these quiet more intimate songs. This was pretty rendition. Probably good for some Granma votes! It was Legit Country sounding, too. Harry feels guilty for beating him up earlier and praises him.

BTW, Dr. L and I went to see Captain America TWS this weekend, and when the  trailer for Godzilla came up (just saw it in the commercials) a dude in the back of the theater yelled out "GodZIRRAH!!!" It just cracked us all up, I don't know why.

Jena: doing Carrie Underwear as well, of course. Damn, she can't help but do her Lorde all over the intro. JLo has the "goosies" on one cutaway in the middle, but maybe you had to be there. This is way better than her first song, but it's still nowhere near a "moment". Maybe it's because I never feel like she really sings the song, but just notes? The Judges cream all over it, which baffles me. Harry comes close to expressing this, thank God, the thing about disconnected melisma I was trying to say. I like her stank face as he dared to critique her.

We're gonna go see this tour! What about ya'll?

CJ: he should own this round. Doing Zak Brown band, a smart choice. This is better than the first song by a mile, but he gets off key in the middle. They stick the knives in, because maybe they know it's his time? This was not enough to stay in, I think.

Jessica: in the Pimp Spot again?!! Doing Jolene, a good song to show her range. I thought this was fantastic, having grown up hearing this song a million times before. I agree that the arrangement was a little weird, but holy crap her vocals are strong. We know Idol wants Jena to win -- is she that far ahead that they are OK with Jessica now? Maybe they just don't want it to be a Sausage Party going into the bottom five.

Bottom Two: Alex and CJ. Going home: CJ, I'm afraid. I know we've predicted it for a while now,  but who else could it be this week?

-- Dr l & K OUT!