THIS is AMERICAN IDOL!

<i><b>THIS</b> is AMERICAN IDOL!</i>

NONE of these guys hit the bricks tonight

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Fun Idol Website Idol Analytics

Hey Tasters, you may have been aware of this site (Idol Analytics) already but it is an interesting breakdown of which Idols seems to be getting the most love online week to week, analyzed and broken down for your perusing pleasure.

Check it out! Here's a snapshot of a post from this week.

Master K out!

Friday, March 20, 2015

A disagreement among tasters!

I Respectfully have to disagree with my friends Dr. L/K. The Idol save last night actually brought tears to my eyes. I have never been a fan of the "judges save". I wish that they would just get rid of it. It has never been used for the reason that it was intended (ala...to keep somebody like Daughtrey or Jennifer Hudson voted off too soon). Its been used for a bunch of ham-bones that weren't worth saving. That being said....was Qaasim worth saving? Ultimately....probably not. However, it was the first time that I actually agreed with the judges save and I'm glad that they used it so that we don't have to deal with it for the rest of the season. I actually thought that Qaasim did a performance worthy of being saved. I thought his performance was probably one of the top 5 of the night...and Qaasim brings a different element to Idol that has been lacking for many years. Qaasim's time will come very soon, but he's worth keeping around for a few more weeks. Now....just a few more comments on the night. I thought the best of the night by far were was Joey. She has really grown on me and it was great seeing more variety from her. The next cluster would be Jax, Clark and Quentin. When I heard Quentin was doing "You're the one that I want" I was seriously frightened. I had visions of Clay Aiken in my head.. (What was that song he did that was just horrendous?)...The so/so - Adanna....then the bad - Maddie (boooooooooooring), the really bad - Tyanna (what was up with that? She was off key the whole song and the arrangement was horrible). Finally the truly truly truly horrible - Rayvon and Daniel. I don't know who was worse? They are both cute for different reasons, but Rayvon must have had a brain lapse to pick that song and sing it 95% in falsetto...and Daniel...put the poor kid out of his misery. I know....my sons love him and vote for him....but he needs to go. I know I'm missing someone....but can't think who. Should go home: Rayvon and Daniel. Will go home: Rayvon and Maddie......Rubbertoe OUT!

The Mic Drop Off The Edge Of Sanity

Idol Top… Ten? Let’s just call it Movie Night.

Nile Rodgers is the mentor tonight. What a talented dude, and it segues into the lamest group sing in possibly all of Idol history. Ryan comes out sporting the scruffiest trendy beard of his life. It's ON now, Idol!

The judges come out, and for once I don’t want Keith’s t-shirt LOL. It’s just aiight tonight (Surfing Cowboys). Harry looks like it’s any other Thursday, and Jlo looks babalicious for some reson. Dr. L commented that Jlo will wear these mega-short dresses and then constantly pull them down, because half the audience could look up her skirt.

Oh, OK, Ryan says Jlo is going to perform so that explains it. Ryan plays a little tutorial about who Nile Rodgers is for the kids — but did you know the original title of Freak Out was Fuck Off? He and his partner wrote it when they got turned away from Studio 54 one night. I think he got the last laugh.

Jeff Gordon wanders out to deliver Ryan’s envelope of Doom. What a weird celebrity mashup! But I guess it’s all for the Fox overlord’s plan. Was it just me or does he look like Henry Rollins younger, preppier brother?

The red chairs light up. Adanna gets the call to come on down first. To me, singing a song from Dreamgirls is kind of cheating? She’s in the KOD spot though. She looks good, and she has a good voice but this is kind of shaky in the beginning. She gets it under control about midway. The judges give similar comments and also some stage advice. I don’t know how these 18 year olds can realistically emote.

Daniel made it? God help us. This is shaping up to be a trainwreck. Nile tactfully deflects him from the piano, and then the dufus chooses the guitar. I guess he can just blend in after the first few verses there though. Jesus, he sucks in the beginning of this. And keeps sucking. This song is just way too mature for him. But hey, the voting isn’t based on logic, but emotion, so if he made it this far he’ll keep failing upwards. Jlo softballs the negative critcism, and Harry does the same. Keith searches for something positive, basically saying his arrangement made the most of a lesser vessel.

Up next is Rayvon. Doing Staying Alive, a la Prince? What’s with the falsetto tonight? I feel like if he auditioned with this rendition they would have laughed him off. This was amazingly even shittier than Daniel’s in my book. Harry again tries to softball in some legit criticism and the boos hit like a tsunami. Come on people, they need to know when they suck. Jlo and Keith have to creep up on saying it wasn’t good as well. It was a fail from his douchey hat on down through his Jailhouse Rock Elvis costume. I am still waiting tonight for a good performance!

Nick made it? God damn! Doing Danger Zone in his Nickelback/Daughtrey knockoff style? Tonight has been so shitty I have to say this is not as bad as the rest. Dr. L asked if he “broke out” like Harry wanted. LOL! I don’t know if I’d say that. He did the patented “take a dump” squat combined with swinging his arm around Citizen Kane style, like he’s making a speech. This is still a crazy-ass song choice. What is up with these guys tonight? Harry calls him out on this. Ryan coats his mother in nasty melting ice cream, ha.

Joey hits the stage next. I like that she’s dressed as a quirky character from a Wes Anderson movie. I am so happy she chose Mad World. This could be huge. It’s more subdued than I thought but (maybe because I love this song) I loved it. It was kind of serious and moody. And holy crap, they finally whitened her teeth! Hallelujah! Keith calls her an “Ottist”. Best of the night so far.

And then there’s Tyanna. She’s doing freaking Circle of Life? What’s with these children singing big adult songs? But I think she can pull it off. Again it starts off so low she is almost inaudible. Then when it gets high she’s off-key for the first few bars. She gets it back and then loses it again. I think she’s been off-key more than not. That look at the end said it all: she saw this as some sort of muscular feat, and she didn’t pull it off. Harry says as much. When he calls her on it, the audience acts surprised, so weird. Jlo simply bails on her comment, and Keith does a bait-and-switch with his where he praises her for something else than slams her. But it was not good. She was just shrieking it.

Jlo performs her number (clearly taped earlier). I applaud her for just singing and not booty-shaking her way though weak vocals. Her special effects are cray-cray. That’s a magic dress! I liked it. I usually speed through this segment but I watched it all. That’s like a Grammy y’all.

Quentin gets his green chair. He’s doing a super slow version of that goofy song from Grease? Nile and Scott slam him for his pitch. What about tonight? I like his pimp daddy costume. This is surprisingly a great arrangement. Did someone else cover this? I would never have expected this. But he did a good job. Aha! Keith rats him out that he didn’t come up with the arrangement. But I guess Idols do this all the time. Harry calls him on his pitch. But I think along with Joey he’s one of our resident artists this season and so that’s not so much why you vote for him.

Maddie jumps up like the chair is electrified. We hear about how she’s been sick for 2 weeks — we should start an Idol rewind list of all the contestants who limp along perpetually sick all season. She’s singing a song from Footloose. She’s sharp all through it, and for a song that is so upbeat she was amazingly lackluster. That last note was like someone stepping on a goose. So blah. Harry calls her on it. Keith tries to blame it on the song, but isn’t it really her talent that makes or kills it? She’s our last IBW for whatever that’s worth. But are any straight guys voting anymore? I don’t know if someone like Katherine McPhee would make it as far anymore.

Kenny Loggins comes out, and at an apparent age of 120, STILL blows all the Idols off the stage. He looks like freakin’ Jed Clampett and he’s still rocking.

Clark gets his shot singing a Maroon Five song. Sunday Morning. Again, he knocks it out of the park. Harry says THE EXACT SAME THING — we are on some kind of wavelength tonight. Right now, there is no competition for him.

OK, a “cliffhanger” where Jax and Qaasim come to the stage. If there is a God, Qaasim goes home. AND there is!!! Although I do love Qaasim’s one-sleeve vampire-slaying gangster costume.

(Just imagine this with one less sleeve)

Jax is doing That sweet song from Wedding Singer. This is a wacky song choice that mainly works because of its quirky earnestness. She actually does a pretty good job with it. And she stays in tune, so that puts her in the Top 3. Smart move to pick something Adam Sandler made famous LOL.

So Qaasim sings for the Save. Do we even need to do this? He’s singing Come Together, and the props and gestures alone would have fired up Vote For The Worst to save him for weeks to come. The mic drop at the end, BWAH HA HAAA!!! No way they save him! No way! That sucked beyond belief.

And of course, they save him. What a ridiculous moment! That was terrible, just objectively awful, lacking in any discernible merit either vocally or in his creepy, awkward, stalk-the-stage sweaty performance. And yet, Idols powers-that-be keep him in. Well, that just killed a better singer down the line. I’m truly flabbergasted.

Best of the night (really the only good performances) were Clark, Joey, Jax. Worst by FAR was Qaasim. Followed by Daniel and Rayvon. The rest are all awash in the middle. None of this makes any sense so I would say they only postponed the inevitable by sending Qaasim and Daniel home next week. But that probably won’t happen. The week Clark gets voted off and Daniel stays they’ll be sorry LOL.

I can't wait to hear what you thought of tonight's ep!

Dr. L & K out!!!

Friday, March 13, 2015

Still Reeling From The Weird Show Changes, Y'all...

But here we are for Idol Season 14 Top Twelve (Eleven?) Performances!

Right off the bat, I have to ask: does it seem weird to you that we see Ryan every week, then they play the opening theme, then the announcer says his name and he walks out from the big ass doors in the stage as if we didn’t just see him?

The judges enter, I love Harry’s shirt. Did Ryan just say there will be no results shows this season? Wtf? All righty then, that makes zero sense. But Here comes Taraji PH from that lil show that could, Empire, to bring Ryan an envelope.

Whaaaa— red chairs turn green, and then they sing? Idol, come on. I like to have a few drinks and not learn some crazy new rules. This is going to take some getting used to.

OK, Rayvon gets to sing? Borchetta (who looks like Sex Machine from From Dusk Til Dawn)

gives him some advice. Then we see some pre-performance footage of R and then a split-screen with Harry giving some random comment about him. Is this what they do on the Voice? I guess anything to distract us from realizing this is year 14 of a karaoke show, right?

This is the KOD spot. I feel like nerves have constricted his throat, he seems like he has no breath. Wow that part where he tried to go false really derailed it. That was not a good start, to me. What was Keith hearing? Or Jlo? That was not good! Even Rayvon knew it. After Harry ignored the suckage, it must be clear they want him to stay.

On the commercial I cracked up at the “Ryan Seacrest Collection” from Macy’s. At some point Ryan will take over the universe I guess, and we’ll have to put a nickel in a water fountain with his mug on it.

Wait — it just dawned on me that only 11 people will sing tonight? How does that even work? So staying or leaving is not based on tonight’s performance? I guess we missed a lot of explaining — this seems nuts. So Rayvon gets to stay even thought tonight’s performance was crap?

So Maddie is next on this carousel of insanity. I see now, Idol is going to show you a package every week, and I guess you are voting on a “feeling” you have about them. She’s singing to her base, not an especially good job doing it, but she looks the part and showing some leg, so maybe she’s safe? For next week? I don’t even know what I’m evaluating here.

My God, this is two hours! So will this decide next week? Do they want us to forget the songs?

Anyway, Joey is next. I have to say, this poor kid has the yellowest teeth of anyone alive. She’s doing Fancy? Her rendition is eminently more listenable than Iggy’s, but not Charlie XCX maybe. I would buy this single. So far the best of the night. For the first time the praise seems earned.

Some dudes from Empire performed and I could not tell you anything because I sped past it.

Up next is Clark. Doing a Doobies song? I get the feeling this guy could sing the phone book and kill it. He’s definitely a favorite, and I think he’s my contender to go all the way. I think Keith was right that he should maybe strive for something sublime next time and not just great.

Ok, no surprises yet, Jax is up next. Doing T Swift? I think this is a little shaky here in the beginning. Why do Idols pick these busy songs to sing, it’s almost aways impossible to sound on key, and she’s no exception. It seemed like it took a million years to finish it. Maybe the fans out there will love it, but I think it was a mistake. Jlo agrees with me! So did Harry and Keith. Oh jesus, are we going to hear stories from Scott all season about behind the scenes Taylor Swift shit? Kill me!!!

Qaasim takes his shot. Scott admits he can’t sing as well as he performs? What a weird world we live it that this would be logical. He’s doing Jet. Come on y’all, this is pretty freaking bad. Am I being punked? If all he has is his performing, it’s a zero then. Why the hell did he choose this? He could have chosen a thousand better songs to coast though and jump around. If he doesn’t exit soon there is no God. Harry creeps up on a negative comment but we apparently live in a softball world now. Keith and Jlo loved it? Just, no.

BTW, we had an invite to go to this taping. Thank God we didn’t, it would have been all night! Also, I love Harry for his comment that explains his shirt. This is the best lineup of judges we’ve had in years. Even with the scripted comments the producers/puppet masters give them sometimes.

OK, Adanna. Doing Bruno Mars, smart choice. I love this song. She does a pretty good job. I like her voice a lot, until the last note maybe. Ok, there were some rough spots throughout but it really seems like a diamond in the rough. If she could calm down and focus, she could kill it. Jlo says this exact thing.

Of course Tyanna had to make it. How old is she? Is she an OMG 16 or something? You’d never know it. This was a catchy song but it really had no build. I think it’s clear she should go far but like Clark she needs to be careful with song choice. Jlo heaps praise on her, Harry gives her a 10, Keith makes her cry. She’s probably my No. 2 at this point behind Clark.

Daniel made it? Well, I guess he had to. I can only see him through a Bieber lens now, 5 years from now, tatted up high on Sizzurp. But let’s hope not! Vote him off, America. Aw, he’s like the cute kid at the bar mitzvah. Does he have talent? Hell yeah! But should he be here? Not for much longer. Again, if Allah is paying attention. it has to be Daniel or Qaasim next week to say adios. But I have to say, that 180 decibel shriek of the tween girls sounds like Victory.

Hey, Quentin made it. Good for him. He’s like a cooler young Lenny Kravitz. I like this arrangement, he really is a good performer. I thought that was great. He definitely should go on into the heart of this season. He’s probably in my top 3-4. I agree with Harry that one flaw was a lack of emotional depth. But hey, the kid can’t cry every show.

Who gets the last safe spot? It’s Nick. He does an OK job, a little screamy, but this was again a kind of generic version. I know if he picked a better song he could make an impact but for now he’s lost in the pack. He shouldn’t go, but how long should he stay? The judges seem to agree.

Sirena Joy is in the totally unenviable position of Judges Save on Night One. No way they will use it here! For all their posturing and changing elements of the show around, they keep this one crazy thing. Sure, if there was a way, right on the spot to keep her and eject Qaasim, I would say go for it. But that’s not how it works. And anyway, she doesn’t kill it like she needed to. We all know the Save only exists if America gets it tragically wrong and votes off a Clark or Joey maybe. And only in a later round. And so it goes.

From best to worst, Clark, Tyanna, Quentin, Joey, Adanna, Jax, Maddie, Nick, Rayvon, Daniel, Qaasim. Goodbye Sirena. What do you think?

Dr. L & K OUT!!!

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Rubbertoe ranks the top 12

So America basically got it right (with a little help from the judges). I can't imagine this season with Quentin or even without Quaasim. Here's where I think America will start to get it wrong. I have a feeling that my top 12 is going to be very different from America's. Rubbertoe's top 12 12. Daniel Seavy 11. Maddie 10. Nick 9. Rayvonn 8. Sarinna 7. Joey Cook 6. Adanna 5. Quaasim 4. Jax 3. Tyanna 2. Quentin 1. Clark Beckham Here is the way America will vote 12. Sarinna 11. Nick 10. Quentin 9. Maddie 8. Joey 7. Adanna 6. Qaasim 5. Daniel Seavy 4. Tyanna 3. Rayvonn 2, Jax 1. Clark Beckham Ok....just a quick prediction before the show!

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Coming Into The Top Twelve Cold!

Hey Lil Tasters -- did you miss us? Dr L & K are BACK!!!

Sorry we dropped out of the prelim rounds, once we got behind it became too daunting to catch up. There's only so many hours in the day and there was not that many left for Idol. Thanks Rubbertoe for keeping us up on the competition. But that means we haven't seen any of these fools -- so we don't know who Idol has been pimping or kicking to the curb. 

And now we have our Top Twelve:

I forgot how kooky the new intro music is. Ryan is so slick now he doesn't need a tie LOL. The judges come out -- Keith has on some kind of cool Johnny Cash t-shirt. Now I have to get one like it! Or maybe this one:



Ryan jumps right into it. Sarino Jo is the first to perform. Maybe it's nerves but she sounds a wee bit shaky. Like she has a good voice but was off. Keith calls her on it. Then Jlo does too. Keith takes it easy on her. 

Rayvon is up next. He has a pleasant tone but is this a forgettable song? That one note at the end wasn't enough for me, but if we're going from 16 to 12 then it's probably enough. They softball him, but I think Keith mentioned the end 3-pointer in a roundabout way. 

After the break, they play a montage to tell us who the F Scott Borchetta is, since we really don't care. But he's a BIG DEAL, ok.  All the Idols have to do is just have the same talent as Taylor Swift, no biggie.

Daniel is up next. Who is this Doogie Howser kid? I guess the gimmick is he has a bigger voice than his Howdy Doody frame would suggest. Did he forget the lyric? As a novelty his voice seems ok, but this was kind of a train wreck. Harry lays it on the line but the others sugarcoat it. I think the only way he stays is if he gets the tween vote.

Maddie: She's the first one tonight that I can see going the distance. She has a good look too. She doesn't need Idol, in the long run, I think. But it would sure help if she made it to the top 6 or so. They give her the "psychological" critique which is always a good sign -- it means there was no easy vocal thing to pounce on. 

Ryan gets in a plug for Empire -- haven't seen it but J (our friend who started this blog!) said it was good and we should check it out. 

Tyanna (is her hair green -- it is!) is up next. Dr. L likes her voice, She seems to have effortless power. She can go far if she holds it -- ooh, that was a bum note or two in there. She needs to reign it in a little. This is a great song for her though, and she seems to be having fun. She's a contender. 

Nick is our next victim. He has a pleasant enough voice -- but doesn't it seem like a generic indie rock voice? I guess he's been trying to be that guy for so long he can't help it. But I think he'll have to become his own singer to go further. The end falsetto kind of sucked but the rest was OK. 

Another commercial. Did you know Fox has a show called Empire?  Now we're back. Jax is up. 
She has one of those voices that could be irritating, but I think it's clear enough that it isn't an affectation. The quiet opening was better than the part with the band, but I think she's going to go pretty far.

Qaasim is onstage now. Dr. L said Idol must really be trying to go with some people of color this year! I hate that it seems so unlike Idol, but recent years haven't looked like this. Wow, this performance is really like bad karaoke to me. You don't need to jump around if you can sing, my friend. I think Harry was not impressed but Keith and Jlo praise his antics. If he goes forward it will not be for long.

AAaand, our DVR caught up to real time LOL. I guess we can't speed through the commercials anymore, dang it. Another Empire plug -- you know, if Fox had promoted Firefly this vigorously, it would still be on the air.

Clark is the next to perform. Wow, I didn't see this voice coming (guess I would if I'd seen the early rounds, huh?) and it seems pretty strong. He has good control, and mercifully knows how to stay in key. I can see him in the top 3 if he can keep it up. Jlo thought it was performance of the night.


Joey made it this far? She has a pleasant voice but again it's kind of a gimmick, right? I would probably buy her music but will Idol? Did it sound like this through all the earlier rounds? Damn, I bet that was entertaining. I dig her hair. 

Another Empire, er -- I mean commercial break (I guess they're going for the Memento crowd, people with 5 minute attention spans). And we're back. I find it hard to believe the six people remaining sucked harder than Qaasim or Daniel But we'll see. 

The first of the last is Quentin. Yeah, this is a weird slow easy-listening arrangement of Royals. His voice is definitely better than those other guys though. Poor dude is reduced to tears. Maybe this is too tough a process for him? But he's moving on to Number 11.

Damn, imagine how this would suck to be these last five. You made it through all the other shit, and you hear some of these D-bags make it and you didn't. 

Adanna is singing ok doing Gaga. I think she has a good voice; I was going to say she didn't do it for me, but part of it was great. I think Harry said it best, she was all over the place. But if she can get it together she'll pretty far. 

So THIS is our Top 12. Well, to me it's at best a Top 9-10. Some of these dudes are clearly cannon fodder. But I would say Clark, Jax, Tyanna and Maddie were the best of the night. And the worst was Daniel, followed closely by Qassim. 
If someone's going to go it has to be one of these clowns. The girls did better tonight IMHO.

What did you guys think? We're in it for the rest of the season now, y'all.

Dr. L & K OUT!!!