<i><b>THIS</b> is AMERICAN IDOL!</i>


Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The Kids in America Eat Some Rock Lobster While Burning Down The House (and other great songs they should've sung on 80s Week)

80s Week! Cookie is back! With his rockabilly Clark Kent glasses look. Let's get to the Idol intro...

Idol relives the drama of Sam's near-elimination. Like Rubbertoe, I think this was kind of pre-ordained to some degree. Have they been sitting on all that confetti all season? What a fun mishap that could have been. Just an oh shit moment raining down live on Ryan. 

The Top Eight get to address the camera and make the claim that they're the next American Idol: some of them sound like they believe it, others not so much. JLo and Keith come in looking retro, so cute. Harry looks like he's over it (a theme that will play out all night).

Ryan claims Facebook, Snapchat, the Selfie, etc did not exist in the 80s. I beg to differ: we had Selfies, we just had to use Polaroid. And now we're into it:

Jena -- doing some kind of warped version of I Love Rock-n-Roll, it kind of freaks Cookie out at first. The firs thought I had was that Simon would have called it indulgent. Typical of Jena, I can't hear a damn thing when she's in her lower register. This sucked, IMO. No wonder they buried her in the KOD spot. JLo tried to keep it real, this was lifeless, but nobody really dressed her down. I think they want her to stay in. 

Keith's 'bear" shirt is awesome again. I cracked up when Jena's "number getup" was straight out of Jane Fonda's workout video. 

Dexter -- does the same Alabama barroom version of "Keep Your Hands To Yourself" that I heard a thousand times back in the day. But He's good at entertainment value, almost how Taylor Hicks did it. that's good and bad LOL. 

Alex and Sam duet: they sound really good together, they should hit the road as a new Jan and Dean or something. The Wonder (Bread) Twins. 

Malaya doing Chaka Khan. Sounds like Cookie gave her some good advice. Can she take it? It was too sleepy at first, then she was struggling thought the supposed "wow" moments, to me and Dr. L. When the judges all say "we know how talented you are, BUT" then you know they want America to overlook the actual performance.

Harry goes into the pit for Caleb and Jena's duet -- hilarious. You know, I kind of love her in the duets. They play off each other well. 

Jessica does Blondie. Cookie is so right, she needs to lighten up. I think she's trying. Man, she's really got a great voice. She kills the vocals here. They never really praise her but I feel like she delivers week after week. 

Sam -- doing Cyndi Lauper. They are really pushing this kid and trying to get a connection out of him. He brings home the goods vocally but they still want more. I think harry is on the right track with the Ricky Nelson suggestion, but the idea that this kid could deliver even the 50s version of sex appeal that RN had in spades is kind of funny. 

CJ and Malaya suck the life out of a song that was kind of lame to begin with. Wow, they looked awkward. Harry couldn't help himself but to shit on it a bit. 

Alex -- Every Breath You Take: this is how you make a song your own. This was incredible. We loved it. It just really pulled you in, and delivered a surprisingly big note near the end. This was as close as we've had to a "moment" performance in a long time. Harry and the others seemed to be ready to crap from a great height on it but I couldn't disagree more. I felt for Alex having to listen to it.

Jessica and Dexter -- it has to be hard to sing a cheesy love song to a lantern-jawed redneck in a backwards trucker cap, but she gives it a shot. Their voices sound good together, but I always hated this song. There's some fun with the musical chairs onstage. 

Wow, when the impromptu "Like a Virgin" kicked in, it really showcased how Ryan can't sing his way out of a wet paper bag. 

CJ -- doing "Freefallin'". Sounds like they're going for a new vibe on it. It sounded better acapella in rehearsal, but this one sounded better when he hit the chorus. I keep coming back to his genuine-ness but I can see how the shaky vocals could be damning him in the voting. 

Caleb -- doing Journey??! This could be genius. Faithfully -- he's going for the intimate rock thing. I think he pulled it off. He really seemed to be focused on the message of the song, I thought he was going to cry. He definitely killed it, even with Keith's WTF? comment about a fanny pack. 

Who's in trouble? I have to say Malaya for sure. Dexter kind of phoned it in but he might get the Classic Rock vote. CJ was dangerously boring, so he might get slammed for it. And Sam was still Sam, and that got him voted off last week. If two of them go home, I say Malaya and Sam. If only one, maybe Malaya? We'll see. 

The real question is, how will I get all of Keith's t-shirts? I couldn't find this bear shirt either. And I will NEVER forget the Cobra Jet fiasco of last week. The search goes on…

K Out!

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