<i><b>THIS</b> is AMERICAN IDOL!</i>


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Rock And Roll All Nite, or The Day The Music Died?

IDOL ROCKS OUT! An oxymoron on par with "military intelligence", but at least we won't hear as many prom-night ballads tonight. How can it STILL be two hours long? They should do this on a curve, give us credit for the torture we have already endured. This should be 1-1/2 hours tops.

Last season Idols sighting in the crowd! Josh and Holly! Nicki is dressed like somebody's Stepford Wife PTA meeting sex fantasy, right? Strange.

Hey, is Burnell wearing Dil's leather jacket from The Crying Game? Oh, and tonight is the episode where the other Idols make fun of each other. In my dream world, Idol would be more like the film Series 7:

Holy shit -- Urkel is singing You Give Love a Bad Name. No audio at the start -- I can hear the bus coming for you son. His dance moves alone make it worth it LOL. That kick at the end! The judges are dying laughing. Why do they boo Randy? This season is officially a parody of Idol. I've sung this song better in my car.

Lazaro and Queen? Oh, a duet with Angie. Jesus, he sucks at this -- and once again didn't learn the lyrics! He actually makes her seem rocker-y, and in reality she's as hard-core as Marie Osmond. I love the snarky slam Nicki gives Lazaro on the lyrics thing. She and Randy throw Lazaro under the bus. But even when they complain it's so softball.

Kree: she's actually nice? So she can out-sing almost everyone left, AND she actually gives a shit about the little people? She's singing Janis. Dr. L wanted to know, didn't MamaSox sing this better a couple of years ago? Kree looks good, and she can sing, but this was not 100%. And with her performing in the 3rd spot tonight, they knew she needed to be buried in the middle. I'm guessing nobody will bring it with a genuine "rawk" vibe tonight. The judges all act like they love her, but Keith could tell she was holding back. She reveals she has a pinched nerve -- so maybe that's it. LOL -- Nicki says she's "outta here" -- shit like that has a way of coming back to haunt Idols.

Side Note: The HD quality of FOX LA tonight is terrible! Fox has to be the cheapest network on the air, do they really think we can't tell?

Next duet: Burnell and Candice, doing Baby Wrote Me a Letter. This was FAR better than the other slop duets tonight. When Mariah gave her non-comment, she reminded me that her one talent this year as a judge is to pick VASTLY better alternative song choices. Too bad it wasn't a rock song. They should let her pick the songs each week. 

Side Note: HD is back. Dr. L just noticed Keith is wearing a Duane Allman shirt. Props! Holy crap, we just realized we have over an hour left of this.

Jenelle: Dr. L hates her bizarre bronze-ish jacket. This is an ill-conceived take on a Billy Joel song. And once again, a basically lifeless performance. I could hear this at a county fair, but then I could keep walking to the pig races or get a corn dog or something. Nicki hints that middle America is voting for Jenelle -- she may be right. Mariah loved her vibrato, but to me it sounded really warbly. 

Lazaro -- they make fun of his PeeWee's Playhouse wardrobe. Another Queen song mumbled to death? I gove him credit, he delivers it with more power and authenticity than I could have expected. It's off-key in several places, but he almost lands the plane. The key problems derailed what could have been a really superior performance. They still have to give him ups for not crashing and burning. It was his week to bring it or go home, in my book, and he earned another shot. Keith is so funny with the matador comment.

The Gem and the Holograms trio (Amber, Jenelle, Kree) doing another Billy Joel song. Is it me or do they sing it like it's in a foreign language they don't speak? Sounded like they forgot some of those foreign words too. Nicki likes the Zombie Apocalypse Slut look Amber is rocking.

Candice: funny clip with her and Burnell. Another injury? Doing Satisfaction? She has the pipes but this is another one of those Idol-does-a-Bing-Crosby-Variety-show-from-the-70s arrangement. Mariah gives the bald-faced appeal to keep her in so we can hear whatever her magical "true" song is. Sadly, when Idol does these theme weeks, it kills momentum for all but the 1-2 contestants who thrive in it.

Amber: she's schizophrenic? And narcissistic? And Burnell is a horn-dog for her. She's doing Heart. This should have been Candice, right? She has a bigger voice than I thought, though. Nice outfit change. What a pretty girl. Hm - She can't seem to get out of her head the whole song -- wandering around the stage, scowling sometimes in concentration, then smiling? She delivered a really good vocal, but it was a weird performance for me. Still, best of the night. 

Angie: Barbie on Crack? Burnell is really funny when he relaxes. An Evanescence song? How does she get the "modern" song? Is this even in the same competition? Wind/Smoke machine? Holy shit -- they pulled out all the stops. She does a good job, but -- stack the deck much? Idol has really made it clear who the TCO must be -- it's like the rest of the pack sang Herman's Hermits or something. It does really seem like she's comfortable with this genre, or at least she made the most of it. The most authentic "rawk" performance of the night, but perhaps because it's more of an emo rock song? I had to crack up that the wind machine almost blew her top off LOL. 

Who's in trouble? I think Burnell, Candice and Lazaro? 

1 comment:

Rubbertoe said...

Company in I didn't see last night's show. I caught the recap and have it DVR'd so I might be able to watch it before the results. sounds like Burnell, my man...did not do real well...he certainly didn't sound good in the clip. I did see Angie and thought she was actually pretty for the rest...your review gave me a good idea of what to expect!!!

Sadly I am going to say Burnell goes home.