<i><b>THIS</b> is AMERICAN IDOL!</i>


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Brilliantly Awkward

First songs: modern soul?

Hollie -- great performance of Adele. KOD spot, so they really want her gone, but to us, once again she sang on the level that they hype Jessica as reaching. This time, they actually praise her -- wonder if this is to thwart the backlash against their slamming of her every other week.

Colton -- weird outfit, cheesy performance, the fact that he had to force the lows so he could reach the highs -- this was pretty boring. He doesn't have 1% the absurd persona and bombastic skills of GaGa. Why does he look like he's wearing a frickin' jester costume every week? He looks like Heat Mizer. Just sing, kid. I think they buried him in 2nd so we'd forget this performance. He's so safe though.

Elise -- Jimmy spoke at length why he thinks Elise is in the B3 every week. I personally think it's the weird, affected jazz-run bullshit she does, because it's her "thang", and America thinks it's off-key singing (because, technically, it is). This was obscured in the Zeppelin song, because she a) didn't do it as much, and b) it was a loud rocker. She should sing Barracuda from Heart or something. This Alicia Keys song was boring already, but it was better than Colton. Wind Machine pimpage.

Side Note: JLo and Randy are constantly looking down all night as they "judge" -- reading from Nigel's notes, much? And JLo's Boob-tacular dress looks kind of slutty sci-fi, like she should be in John Carter from Mars or something.

Phil -- love how his costume shows he doesn't give a rat's ass. Wow! This was great. I don't usually dig his shtick but this all clicked. Standing O from the judges. I could listen to this song again. Randy's "originality" comments are nonsensical. But White Guy With Guitar is probably safe.

Lots of stars in the crowd tonite.

Jessica, she gets the BETTER Alicia Keys song. And, the reminder of the DRAMA from last week. She looks like Oh Mighty Isis in that outfit. What's with the umbrellas -- did they think she was singing Rihanna? She's getting a lot of help from the backup singers, isn't she? Man, Elise would have killed this song. It was okay, but a little scatt-y. The audience is buying the hype, and the judges lay it on thick.

Skyler -- I like how she's amazed when Jimmy has a good suggestion LOL. Hey is that Hot Fiddle Guy -- or a NEW HFG? Skyler shows how to do a GaGa song if you aren't GaGa. This was perfect for her. She could still win this thing! And they do the Idol Winner sparks behind her. I suspect they didn't stand up because it would threaten their pimping of Bebe Chez. But this was the best of the night so far.

Joshua does Fantasia. This should be his week -- I don't know if he has the mental firepower to step it up a notch, though. He's got good pipes but he's even more one-note than Phil in some ways. Dr. L said he looks out-of-it. This was not his best by any means.

Second songs: Old soul?

Hollie -- she's so cute! And how sweet to get the shout-out from the Brits? Too bad soccer doesn't mean shit to Americans. Maybe this means she'll have a career in the UK? Wow, Don Cornelius and SOUL TRAIN! I used to watch this as a kid, even more than American Bandstand. Son of a Preacher Man -- a good idea, maybe not as good as her 1st. I feel like the arrangement was ironically a little soul-less, and it didn't help her sell the song. They are praising her again -- this is definitely Simon Cowell 101 -- an attempt at a psych-out.

Colton -- Earth Wind & Fire? I love this song , but Colton's Coldplay-ish version is pitchy as shit. Wow, I don't like this at all. Deandre would have torn the roof off with this! They're giving him the tough love. Note to Idols -- please put another color streak in you hair besides magenta. ANY color. Thanks.

Elise -- Let's Get It On! Working the boobs -- too bad straight men don't vote. This is actually a great song for her voice. I don't know if she's just dripping with sex like you have to for this to work, but it was okay. Another gutted arrangement. When JLo starts with "Okay baby" then it isn't going to be high praise. This season the mantra seems to be about "personality". Randy is right on with the over-singing though. B3 again for sure.

Phil -- Midnight Hour. This seemed like it went on for 20, 30 minutes. Why pick a song like this that doesn't go anywhere? Aw, who cares, everybody seems to love PP. I would probably enjoy him after 4-5 beers at a bar on Bourbon Street.

Hey, Kris Allen! Generic McCardboard is still alive.

Jessica -- Try a Little Tenderness. Wow, for the most part the 2nd half has been a Bag of Fail. She's screechy and pitchy. WAY oversung. Even the audience shows tepid love. Jesus the judges are reading the notes! Nothing you can SAY can help her, fools.

Skylar -- The California Raisin Song! Fiddle Guy sighting. This is a little busy, but she has the best stage presence of any of them. Is it me or do these arrangements blow tonight?

Joshua -- A Change Gon' Come. The absolute perfect song for his voice. He did a good job, but there was still a disconnect. He's only putting in 70% or so. They're praising it like it's actually Sam Cooke up there.

Best of the night, Hollie and PP's first songs, and maybe Skylar's. Worst, Colton in both songs, but he has a voting block. Jessica was pretty bad too.

B3 -- Elise, Joshua, Jessica

Who goes home? Jessica, "psych"!

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