<i><b>THIS</b> is AMERICAN IDOL!</i>


Thursday, March 14, 2013

Idols Tread Water

I like the Top Ten montage where each Idol gets to say a sentence or two to recap themselves for us. I always try to see how Idol slants things in their favor LOL. It seems like the girls get the better quotes, but I could be wrong.

What happened to Nicki? Holy F'ing Shit, I can't believe she's playing the "stuck in LA traffic " card. That's about as unprofessional as it gets. Am I right that this has never happened on Idol before? As somebody who has driven across LA in all kinds of hellish traffic, you can get where you need to be when you have to, if you WANT to.

The Idol App commercial -- still gotta download it.

Jimmy Iovine -- can't believe he's dating scandal woman Liberty Ross. Whatever, maybe she's eager. 
Jimmy counsels Curtis -- he's singing Fantasia? Lord, I forgot how screechy she was. 
Nice psychedelic jacket dude. Dr. L says looking at it made her think he was taking us to a picnic. And this is Idol styling! He gets a choir? Isn't his a little early in the game for this shenanigans? He was off key and weak in the beginning, so maybe they're trying to save him. This is bad enough to send him home, though. The judges softball him. 

Ryan's nearly magenta hair color is distracting -- what's up with that? Weird "live" moment where Ryan goes to open the studio door. I guess Ryan will someday be the only Idol employee, he'll park the cars, run the camera, be the sole judge, etc.

Janelle in at Number 2 -- did this girl get 1000% more Kountry from last week to now? Jeez, I'm from the South, and she makes me sound like Laurence Olivier. 
Idol cannibalizing old Idols for these songs is getting old fast. She looks good, and is off to a better start than Curtis. I hate to admit it, though, but Scotty blows her off the stage here. She has no passion behind this song. 
OMG, Nicki looks like a damn freak. (postscript comment --  looks like she had no makeup on yet. Later she looked normal. Those DisneyLand sunglasses were throwing me off.) Randy speaks the truth about Janelle here, which is odd. Dr. l agreed with Mariah that Janelle came out with confidence, but it went nowhere from there. But I don't think she'll be "Gone" this week.

Devin. I can't get past the impression that he looks like TinTin -- check it out:

Nice voice. Sings the song with feeling. Nice outfit. Showcases his voice, I'd say this is an OK choice, because I don't even like this song. But it was a little safe and forgettable. Wow -- Nicki is throwing the softballs and Randy has to be the cold reality guy? It is true -- these guys "made it" and they seem to have throttled back. 

Anybody watch FOX's The Following? I see the ads and it seems interesting… but not enough to watch.

Angie -- the Chosen One? Maybe TCO2. She has the weird flap of hair that is a little distracting. I feel like I'm watching Joe Dirt LOL. Iovine says she a pageant singer! Well, I have to say, here onstage her hair is a little better. The dress is borderline Dominatrix, but she wears it well. She has a pretty voice, and pretty good range. Dr. L was impressed. I have to say best of the night so far.  The judges fawn over her. Randy says In it to Win it, Can Sing Anything AND The Competition Begins Now!!! 

Paul -- Jimmy is laying the smackdown on all these guys! Says he oversings. This could be Jimmy's Backfire advice, though: sometimes he tells people to take it down or up a notch and sabotages them. Hot Fiddle Guy has been replaced with Fiddle MILF. This is kind of a boring rendition of this song. His voice sounds reedy and thin. Interesting jacket mashup with the pleather sleeves. I never liked this song, but Keith does. I didn't hear what he did tonight. 

Candice -- her hair looks nice, she looks lovely. Sweet story with her family. Jimmy loves her! I think he doesn't suffer fools easily, perhaps. And she clearly has tremendous talent. She has my favorite voice of the competition, I think. Dr. L says this was a million times better than when Jordin (Massive Tearful Carrot) sang this. She has life experience. I feel like she's already a pro, and will make it in the Biz no matter what idol holds for her. This is what the others should aspire to: wow us week after week.

Lazaro: Jimmy is taking it easy on this kid. Doing Breakaway. Wow, Kelly looks great in that clip. Can he pull it off? I hate to say this, but that outfit makes his ass look big LOL. Oh, Lazaro -- this is too much song for him. This was a big mess for me. Hard act to follow Candice, and he didn't do what he needed to. This was just not the right song. Who is voting for him? He is cuter than Devin, for the Latin American crowd, so maybe he'll stay.

Kree -- This might be The Chosen One. Singing a classic song, Crying, voters will know it -- smart -- or did Idol just set her up with a Win? She looks pretty tonight. This arrangement is very sleepy in the beginning. She does have a beautiful voice.  I got a KD Lang vibe off her tonight. From my perspective, we have three female contenders here, and no males that can compere with them. Nicki talks about waffles and Randy gets tingles all over. She'll probably be back, right? I also get a Pia Toscano vibe from her, too -- like she might get herself gone way earlier than she or we think.

Urkel (Burnell)-- doing Ruben's flying without wings? God, this song sucks. Oh, good, he ditches the goofy look for the song performance. But his vocal is kind of overwrought with melisma. He sort of runs out of gas on the big bombastic parts, and it shows this (crappy as it is) song is too big for him. What was up with the 1950s Do-Wop runs in the middle of this? Weird. This was almost VFTW-worthy. Keith says he has "eccentricity", that's one way of putting it. Nicki wants him to stay in spite of himself. Randy is back blowing smoke up our asses, so Nigel must want him to stay, too. I don't think he deserves to be this far up in the lineup tonight. 

Ryan working in a Pope joke! Ryan has to know this show is tres hokey with the smoke and mirrors.

Amber -- did anybody catch the Godfather theme when she met Jimmy? Funny. Wow, this song performance is not great, despite the wind machine effects. She's better than this song, but pulls off some nice notes at the end. Keith is my favorite this year, I love his smart-ass joke about the fan. When Nicki says the comments about "best performance of the night" an comparing her to Whitney, the audience isn't buying it. It's so much bullshit. She's good, but this was not that great.

I just realized this was the Pimp spot -- it was kind of anticlimactic. 

I say Curtis and Devin are in trouble. Paul should be, but maybe will get a break. Either way, a guy should go, I think. That's kind of a no-brainer, but never underestimate the American voters! Dr. L & I will post a prediction list before results tomorrow.

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