The Top 11 . . . A Play by Play

Alright, y'all. As has been suggested by Ms. Allison, next week, I will break this sucker down into smaller bits about the individual performances . . . in a live blog kind of way . . . but for now, here is the lengthy recap

Alright folks, here we go. By popular demand, or by demand of the Idol Machine cuz they’re gonna make bookoos of cash money and increase donations for Idol Gives Back, we are once again “celebrating” the songs of the Beatles. Hmmm . . . Seacrest is sporting a bit of a faux-fro on top of his head tonight.

Here are the finalists! Why is Brooke wearing a frilly potato sack and David Cook sporting a rubber band around his hand? Who knows. . . Ah, they have put Ramiele in the pimped out spot. And, not shockingly, they have not put Lil David in position number one. . . that distinction goes to Amanda O. Ok, so, we are not performing the Lennon/McCartney songbook, but the songs of the Beatles. Minor banter with the judges ensues . . . and, why is Simon giving Ryan the hyperwinks tonight?

Obligatory Beatles retrospective . . . cue more songs that I recognize but clearly to which I am incapable of assigning titles . . . .

Up first, is Ms. Amanda O. . . who has “performed” on flat bed trucks . . . She is singing “Back in the USSR” which she is going to make “hard-driving’. Let the screeching ensue . . . Ms. Amanda is gracing us in quite a bit of very fitted denim and a more recognizable Portugese dialect perhaps originating out of South Lisbon . . . anyway. . . It was spirited, I’ll give her that, much more screechy than last week. Kind of typical Amanda for me. Randy thought she was pitchy at first but brought it home. Paula thinks she couldn’t hear the music at first, but connected at the end. Simon, hooray, agrees with moi, she is singing the same thing every week and is quite predictable. He thinks she is in danger of becoming boring. I’ve got to tell you, she’s kind of entertaining here . . . and now, bordering a bit on obnoxious. Does anybody else get the feeling that this girl really doesn’t want to win this competition . . . she just kind of wants to get far enough to be able to tour the Southeast . . . on her Harley . . . while drinking a little Natty Lite?

Here comes KLC showing us some pics of her friends and animals. Every week she is in the bottom two . . . very nerve wracking for our little underdog. Anyway, she is singing “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away”. Cool dress . . . with strange cowboyish hooker boots . . . A little pitchy and awkward, but not terrible. Clearly, singing the song as if she hasn’t really heard it before. Overall, kind of awkward until the last note. The last note was EXCELLENT! Randy thought it was awkward, but the high notes were good. Paula thought the same thing, but that she looked great. Simon thinks she is like musical wallpaper. I think the judges are more harsh with KLC . . . and something about her “blowing Simon out of his socks”. That was kind of cute, and quite frankly, I like this girl. I don’t know why, but I do.

Here comes Lil David A. . . I’m not clear on how he is performing when he is sitting here on my mantle. Anyway, cutey pie is singing “The Long and Winding Road”. I don’t want to jinx him here, but I think our Lil David is BACK! Our frontrunner is BACK folks. That was WONDERFUL! Nice to hear the pure voice back in form. Randy says that Lil David has brought the hotness back to his game. Paula thinks this is his most exciting performance . . . and stuff . . . and character . . . and, ok. Simon thinks that this week he was amazing. He thinks that he sold the song and was a master class.

IPhone and AT&T pimping . . . Oh, and don’t forget the Coke Product!

And here comes Aussie Mike! He’s doing “A Day in the Life”. Much less greasy tonight! Hooray for makeup! But yikes for falsetto. . . Is it me, or is this a very strange arrangement . . . way too many “Ahhhhhh” measures. This song is really not one that showcases the “Zazazoom” that he demonstrated in the Top 24. Not one of my favorites. Randy thinks that he has not chosen the right song. Paula thought he was great in the rehearsal, and thinks that maybe the monitor in the ear is affecting him. Simon thinks that it was a mess . . . I agree and I think our little Aussie dreamboat could be headed to the Bottom three . . . and, wait, here comes a mention of a deceased friend. I can appreciate the meaningfulness of the song choice, but I really don’t like it when the contestants mention things like that after their performances . . .

Here comes Ms. Brooke . . . wearing her mustard potato sack . . . and talking about her family. Oh, a clip from “Let it Be”, I’m gonna get weepy again . . . whew, that’s over. Tonight, she is singing “Here Comes the Sun” . . . I’m sure I know this, but yet again . . . Oh yeah . . . I do know it. Now y’all know I love me some Brooke . . . but, she looks uncomfortable having to move on stage . . . she looks like she is having fun, but kind of awkward. I don’t know, I just don’t know. Randy thought she was awkward, and not connected to the song. Paula thinks its hot that Brooke makes her smile, and that she has a good low tone to her voice. . . it could have been a little more challenging. Simon’s gonna nail her here . . . Simon knew she was going to be dressed in yellow . . . and didn’t like it. And Brooke is sort of rambling at this point . . . I think that she said that she wasn’t comfortable and she will be returning to what she knows best next week. I just can’t help but really love this girl . . . performance was a bit awkward, but I still heart her hardcore.

And Rocker David is up next . . . He’s picking a Whitesnake rendition of “Daytripper”. I’m curious . . . this could either be James Dean or Jason Priestly . . . I’m not sure which . . . let’s see . . . He appears to have two microphones . . . hmmm . . . Oh, it’s a harmonica type apparatus! I am loving him. Ok, the guitar raising at the end was a wee bit self-indulgent, but I really, really love him. Nice vocals and again, very concert like. Randy thinks it was a solid look for David Cook. Paula thinks he is ready to go sell records. Ok, that was a voice box not a harmonica . . . I don’t really know what this is . . . Simon thinks that the performance wasn’t quite as good as David thought it was, and that he is a bit smug. I think a bit smug might be the understatement of the night . . . Does anyone else notice how terribly reluctant and uncomfortable Rocker David looks whenever he things Ryan is going to touch him . . .

Judges playing . . . Paula using English accent, sort of, making fun of Simon . . . they are stretching . . .

Carly is up next on Beatles night. She is singing “Blackbird”. I am VERY UNCLEAR on what in the name of Yoko Ono she is wearing tonight. She is looking very preggers, high school, Spanish teacher. . . . who attended Woodstock and got a random tattoo on her entire right arm while sloppy drunk on some Boone’s farm type form of cheap liquor. Anyway, the performance . . . her voice sounds absolutely amazing. Great performance. Accept, and I KNOW I am going to be way in the minority here, but her vocals, particularly when she went for the high. Randy thinks she was wonderful and full of coolioso. Paula thinks she was wonderful. Simon thinks it was self-indulgent and a bad song title to choose. A little discussion ensues about the title of the song. . . Carly says that she and all of the contestants are broken birds . . . Simon feels bad . . . Carly explains more . . . strange banter between the judges . . . Carly has more tattoos . . . and now looks very similar to the inmates I visit in the jail . . . and we’re off to commercial. I actually went back and listened to this again, and what at first sounded a wee awkward to me, played back as quite lovely.

Funny AT&T commercial that includes the word dillweed . . . how can you not love a commercial that uses the word “dillweed”.

Now its time for the moment in each show I like to call “I heart Jason Castro time” . He is singing “Michele” . . . Have I mentioned that I heart him . . . He’s showing a bit of his awkwardness on stage when he’s not singing or playing the guitar . . . Vocals were very good for Mr. Castro. Another cutesy song. Not very vocally challenging. Randy thought he was not very connected and that it was too subtle . . . I think he is always subtle, but anyway . . . Paula thinks he was disconnected and the song was kind of Polka like. Simon thinks that Beatles night redux was not a great idea, and he thinks that Jason’s face sold it, and that he is charming and not obnoxious – me thinks he was making a verbal bitchslap towards Mr. Cook there – and Randy makes a not so sly reference to his and Paula’s current dance club ditty – and commercial.

Syesha M. is up next, and it appears that she brought her girls with her. We’ve straightened the hair, and definitely attempted to turn up the sex appeal. Syesha thinks that being in the bottom three was a good kick in the butt. Syesha is singing “Yesterday” . . . don’t y’all know there was a fierce bitch fight between Syesha, Lil David, and Brooke for this song. Cool . . . Ms. Syesha gonna break it down acoustic style. Absolutely fantabulous performance. I’m so proud of her. I really thought she was in trouble this week. Girl saved her ass. Randy thought she took some liberties and they paid off. Paula thinks she was very good, but needs to connect more with the audience. Simon that it was HER best performance so far. Simon thought that she chose the song that Brooke should have sung. I agree. Again, I bet some hair was torn out back stage . . . Chekezie’s next.

Chekezie’s favorite moment was last week when he got great compliments from the judges . . . and Ryan touched his face. Tonight, he is singing “I’ve just seen a face”, and will be playing an instrument . . . except . . . he doesn’t seem to have an instrument. He’s very pitchy in the first of the song . . . and, OH MY-LANTA he has a harmonica. It’s kind of tragic. And now, we have launched into a bluegrassy interpretation . . . he’s trying to replicate last week . . . I did not love that. He re-arranged the song in a weird way. Randy thought it was good and bad. . . slow part good, and fast part bad . . . harmonica strange. Paula thinks that he is showing the scope of his voice, and thought his voice was pure. Simon thought it started ok and then played atrocious harmonica . . . and then Achy Breaky Heart. Once again, I gotta agree with Simon. He tried to do almost the exact same thing he did last week. Ryan says he has to listen and adjust his moves IF he gets through. Interesting wording . . . Pimp spot up next

Ramiele is bringin up the rear tonight. I’m surprised they have decided to pimp her. I really kind of expected Carly or Aussie Mike. The little engine that doesn’t quite do it for me sees the Top 11 as her family . . . Mama Brooke, Big Bro David C. . . etc. Tonight, she is singing “I Should’ve Known Better”. Harmonica intro. . . what is up with the woodies for harmonicas on the idol stage this evening . . . is she wearing a fedora? Ok, I know that little bit has a lot of fans out there, but I just think she is pitchy and quite frankly karaoke . . . every way shape and form karaoke. I’m not sure the pimp spot is so pimptastic this year. Not good at all. Randy wasn’t jumping up and down, but loved her confidence. Paula thought this week was better, but she wants her back in the Dusty Springfield zone. Simon thought it sounded like Chekezie was on harmonica. He likes her, but thought it sounded amateurish. Interesting, I thought that she and KLC gave about the same level of performance, but man the judges comments were different. It is so clear who they want to make it and who they want to go home.


What do y'all think?