<i><b>THIS</b> is AMERICAN IDOL!</i>


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

U R Bootiful, No Matter What They Say

What a night! We have the results show bearing down on us like the bus Randy's been driving the last few weeks, so let's get to bidness...

First off, the ridiculous boxing theme. Nigel himself said on KISS this morning with Ryan that he'd had the final theme for some time, and didn't know what he'd do to make the "boxing match" shit work if Syesha made it to the Top Two. Good thing the fix was in, eh?
And, is ALW bored? WTF is he doing here? Anyway...

Round 1: Clive's corpse selects some golden oldies for the boys.

Cookie with U2, sang it well, but wasn't magical.

Archie sang Elton like his life depended on it. I still have a problem with this embryo singing adult angst songs, but whatev. All you have to do is watch how nerved out he was after singing it to know how much pressure is on this poor kid. To his credit, DA pulls out the mojo and wins the first round.

Round 2: Pick From The 10 Worst Songs Nigel Could Inflict.

Cookie actually made this craptacular song sound like something you could hear in the real world beyond Idol. That, given the "This Is My Now"s and "Do I Make You Proud"s we've endured in the past, was a fucking miracle.

Archie (as Simon put it) sang the "right" song, the Idol melisma-fied syrupy song. He did a good job, but it was so predictable, and thus kind of blah. Though the judges made it seem like Archie won, I'd say Cookie actually pulled off Round Two by not being boring as hell.

Round 3: You Can Go Your Own Way (But Watch Out, Bitches!)

Cookie pulls a WTF by singing this Collective Soul song. Why? He did make it listenable, something it never was for me in the past, but it flew in the face of Idol "in it to win it" tradition. Simon slaps him down for it, but I applauded Mr. C for not cranking out a retread. Maybe it was a symbolic stand.

Archie performs a clone of Imagine. The pixie dust wasn't there this time, but it was a great performance. I literally stood and clapped for him at the end because I was afraid he'd melt down. That kid is a trooper!

All in all, Lil David came into the finale guns blazing, and Big David showed up and performed well, but without the magic. The judges shoved Cook in front of the bus and revved the engine, then floored it. WHOMP!

So, looks like an Archuleta victory is sewn up, right?

L and I are going to defy the winds of Fate and say COOK WINS IT!

...based not so much on last night, because Lil Dave really brought it, but on the juggernaut of voting coming into last night that favored DC. Crazy like Paula? Maybe.

L & K: Cook will be Dreaming Big as the Season 7 winner tonight.

(P.S. - An Open Letter To Randy Jackson: STFU. If I hear any more "molten hot" "phone book" "peaked at the right time" etc. bullshit, I'm getting on a plane to L.A. and strangling your ass in the LaBrea tar pits.)

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